


Sorry I'm Latte

by ForAZiamyDay



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Ziam AU, artist!zayn, muse!liam, side larry - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-15 11:21:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1303021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForAZiamyDay/pseuds/ForAZiamyDay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I see you uhhh… found something to paint" Liam murmured quietly. </p><p>Zayn gulped as he looked up at the painting hanging proudly in front of them both. His brain fumbled around as he tried to find any way out of this devastating hole he was in. He could only manage a quiet “yep”.</p><p>“It’s a bit of a shock…” Liam choked out; eyes jerking around the room and Zayn thought he looked a bit like a cornered animal.</p><p> </p><p>Or, the one where Zayn can't paint anything until he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Petty Crime

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own One Direction. This is a FICTIONAL story etc.

Blank canvases were simultaneously Zayn’s most and least favourite things in the world. Lately however, they had been taunting the fuck out of him. They liked to draw him in with their promises and their endless possibilities and then they would sit there blank for days, or sometimes weeks, mocking him: making him feel useless. In fact he had been unable to produce anything that he’d been remotely happy with for months. If he did manage to put something down, he hated it almost immediately. But mostly he just sat, paintbrush in hand, staring at the expanse of nothingness waiting for something to come to him.

Today, like yesterday and the day before and the entire last seven weeks of his life, he could think of nothing. Not a place not a person or thing: not a colour or thought or emotion. He could think of nothing at all except for how much he needed a cigarette… or three.

_Fuck._

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

_Fuck it all._

He stood up throwing his perfectly clean paintbrush to the ground. He was beginning to think that he had lost it; if had ever had ‘it’. Well, he had been thinking that for a while actually. He huffed out a frustrated breath as he crossed the room to where his leather jacket hung on the hook behind the door. He fumbled with it, getting even more frustrated: something that he would have deemed impossible ten seconds ago, until he finally found his way into the pocket that held his smokes and lighter. Opening the box with fumbling fingers he plucked out two cigarettes, tucking one behind his ear and letting the other hang loosely between his lips. He decided to ring Harry then; he had let two of his calls reach voice-mail so as not to interrupt any stroke of inspiration that might be but seconds away. It was all in vain of course.

_“Hello…Who’s this?”_

“Harry, my name’s on your screen every time I call” Zayn snapped as he tucked his phone under his chin to light his smoke. He dragged a chair over to the window to hang his arm out; he couldn't be bothered walking downstairs like Harry always made him do when he was there.

_“Alright moody... No need to yell at me. It’s not my fault you can’t paint… or sleep… and that you haven’t had a shag in over a month”_

“Fuck you Styles. Thanks for reminding me: I’d almost forgotten…” Zayn cursed his best friend. He was usually great at helping Zayn out with his problems; he guessed he was fed up with landing the brunt of Zayn’s worsening moods. Zayn took a long drag; holding it in until he could feel the burn in his lungs. He let the smoke out slowly; letting it curl its way out the open window. He felt a tiny bit calmer. “Anyway, what did you want? You called my phone twice.”

_“Oh right… Sharon’s asking for the rent. She’s getting impatient; said she isn't going to let you put it off anymore. She wants to buy her kid an x-box or something for his birthday. She wants it by tomorrow.”_

“Fuck.”

 _“Mind your language”_ Harry drawled down the line. Zayn was about to yell some more profanities just for spite but before he could, Harry added _“Do you want me to cover your half?”_

“Harry… I can’t let you do that” he suddenly felt like a bad friend. Harry was too generous for his own good.

 _“What alternative is there? I’ll write it down. I’ll make sure you pay it back.”_ Zayn stayed silent for a moment worrying his lip with his teeth.

“Just this once, Harry, I promise. I promise it won’t happen again. I- I’ll pay it back as soon as I can Harry.”

_“You’ll get there Zayn. You’ll figure it out. You always do.”_

“Thanks Harry… You’re a good friend.”

 _“Alright..”_ Zayn could tell Harry was smiling _“see you tonight.”_

“Yeah alright” Zayn replied and he waited until he heard Harry hang up before he tossed his phone onto the floor. He continued to chew his bottom lip as he stared down at where his phone had landed. _God… when had he become the person who asked for loans off his BEST MATE just to pay the rent?_

He needed a walk, he decided. He leapt off the chair and grabbed his jacket off the hook, threading his arms through it without another thought. He needed to move so that he didn't dwell; so he didn't dwell on what a useless human being he had turned into. It wasn't like moving really stopped the nagging at the back of his mind, but it helped to have something else to focus on. So he flicked the lock on the front door and strode off away from their flat without a second thought, leaving the door to slam angrily behind him.

-

Liam huffed out a sigh as he slammed a large textbook shut and looked across the wobbly library table at Niall who frowned back at him.

“I’ll adopt you” Niall decided suddenly, putting his face right in front Liam’s. “My parents love you. They’d probably give you the whole pool house to stay in…like on the O.C… damn, I miss that programme.” Niall’s face turned from determined to wistful just like that and it made Liam snort out a laugh.

“Thanks for the offer Nialler but I think they’d rather boil live puppies than cross my dear ol’ pa... Even if he’s threatening me with disownment” He sighed at the undeniable truth of those words.

His relationship with his father had always been a little shaky but when Liam dropped out of University to chase the waves with Louis and Niall, his father had been livid and hadn't looked at him the same way since. Now, if Liam didn't go back and finish his degree, he would be kicked out. The thought of doing the university thing didn't freak him out exactly; it was just that it didn't offer him anything he wanted to make a career out of. It bored him and it didn't lead him anywhere he wanted to go. His father didn't understand this of course. He didn't understand how an ‘actual career’ could start with anything but tertiary education.

“Well it’s not going to happen with that kind of attitude” Niall said, making a face at him.

“Sorry Niall, what I meant to say was ‘it’s all going to be flowery fields, unicorns and rainbows” Liam said in a faux-chirpy tone, but he couldn't keep a smile from spreading across his face anyway.

“Better” Niall decided with a grin “but don’t forget the food that grows on trees.”

“Food does grow on trees Niall;” they heard a voice say with mirth and they both looked up to see Louis approach their table “it’s called fruit” Louis finished, after grabbing onto Niall’s shoulders and crouching down to Niall’s level like a primary school teacher.

“Oh piss off you” Niall pushed him away and Louis moved off with a laugh, settling down in a spare chair.

“Look guys, if I knew getting back here meant we’d be hanging around in a _library_ ,” Louis said as he scornfully surveyed the floor they’re on, “instead of a beach, I would've stuffed you both in the broom cupboard at our lovely beach house and never come back.”

“Good point Louis, let’s go” Liam said and he began to stand.

“No, _you_ can’t leave” Louis stated, giving Liam an evil grin. “You’re staying. We’re leaving because our fathers haven’t decided to feed us into the horrifying machine they like to call ‘university’, while threatening your trust fund if you don’t obey” Liam narrowed his eyes.

“You don’t even care if I study… you’re just making me stay here to spite me for something probably” Liam sulked.

“Maybe for dragging me back to this hell-hole” Louis gestured around them.

“It’s London;” Niall told Louis “hardly a ‘hell-hole’.”

“Yeah… but it’s hardly the Gold Coast of Australia either… Anyway, we’re leaving. See ya Liam.”

“Fine… Bye” Liam muttered back with a frown.

He sighed as he watched them leave and then chuckled as Louis blatantly checked out a guy that passed them by. He even turned his head after the guy had walked by. Louis didn't give many that honour: he must be impressed. Liam supposed the guy was rather impressive. He was pulling off an endearing ‘troubled bad boy’ look; ripped jeans, leather jacket, messy dark hair, a brooding stare and, Liam noted, a few tattoos that were just visible over the neck of his Pink Floyd t-shirt… a bit of a cliché really, but as he said before: there was definitely something endearing about it. The guy’s gaze flicked up then to meet his own and Liam realised he must look like he’s checking him out. He wasn’t of course. He had merely been assessing him on behalf of Louis, who had now disappeared with Niall. The guy held his gaze for a moment before Liam looked back down at the text books spread about him.

Liam frowned at the pages he’d been trying to memorise. Why was he doing economics of all things? This was stupid. He didn't want a career behind a desk punching numbers into a calculator; he wanted to do stuff, see things, move…live. Fuck his father, he decided. His dear old Dad could go to Hell. He slammed the book shut for about the tenth time since he and Niall had arrived and looked around for a distraction.

He leaned back on his chair and turned to see the bad boy cliché wrestling with a haggard looking coffee machine; punching at buttons and slamming his fist into its side with frustration as he muttered under his breath. Liam suspected he was swearing at the un-offensive looking machine. This made Liam smile slightly and he decided he wanted to help the guy; maybe he could get Louis his number; it might get Louis off his back. He shuffled his chair out from the table and headed forward to offer his help. As he got closer to the boy he heard “ _Just my fucking luck. Fucking fuck fuck_ ” in a distinct Bradford accent and Liam’s smiled in spite of himself.

-

 _Was it fuck off Zayn day today?_ Zayn thought as he shook at the coffee machine. “ _Come on girl… c’mon babe…just give me my latte and I’ll leave you alone…really? You’re going to do this to me right now? Please…just…c’mon baby_ ” he murmured desperately at the coffee machine.  
“Interesting strategy you've got there.”

Zayn froze at the words. There was an amused tone in the voice but Zayn was focused more on how soft and warm it sounded. He turned to see the boy he’d noticed earlier standing only a few feet away from him. He looked even better up close, Zayn decided at once. He raked his eyes up his body; noting how well his sweatpants hung on his hips and admiring the way the boys t-shirt fit over his obviously toned upper-body. As his gaze traveled up to meet a pair of curious warm brown eyes set into a face that shouldn't even be legal in its appeal. Zayn decided this guy might be the hottest person he’d ever met. But maybe it was just the sex-lull talking.

“Uh- yeah… it works on most” Zayn managed to get out, eyes zoning in on a pretty birthmark near the base of the boy’s neck.

“Ha, I can imagine” the boy replied, too casually to be anything more than friendly, “Just not on inanimate objects?”

Zayn frowned, _who was this kid?_ “Yeah… stupid coffee machine” he muttered and he heard the boy huff out a laugh.

“What’s wrong with it?” the boy asked, moving closer to inspect the coffee machine himself. Zayn gave him a little room but not enough to avoid the boy brushing against him as he got a closer look.

“Well-uh, usually I can get it to give me a free latte you see? If you jab at a few buttons and then whack it a bit it gets confused and thinks you've paid.”

“Really?” his expression was one of boyish joy as he smiled up at Zayn, impressed. Perhaps this day could turn around, Zayn thought.

“Yeah” Zayn stated with growing confidence and he turned back to the coffee machine and tried button mashing again “now just whack it on the side there just a bit” he instructed the boy at his side. The boy did so, with a bit more force than Zayn usually gave, and a stream of coffee began to fill the takeaway cup Zayn had placed there. “See?” Zayn laughed “and that’s how you corrupt a coffee machine.”

The boy laughed alongside him and Zayn enjoyed the way his eyes shone and crinkled pleasantly in the corners when he laughed. In fact Zayn loved the way his whole face had lit up and it made him almost forget what he’d been so moody about less than five minutes ago.

“I’m Liam by the way” the crinkly eyed boy said, extending a hand.

“Zayn” he replied as he slipped his hand into Liam’s.

“Yeah…So is this your thing then?” Liam asked, letting Zayn’s hand drop and gesturing to the coffee machine. Zayn frowned at the loss of contact.

“What, Coffee?” Zayn asked confused.

“No… Petty crime.” He said with a smirk.

“Ha. Well, uh- while I’m broke it is a bit I suppose.” Zayn admitted, looking away from Liam’s stare and busying himself with finding a lid that fitted his cup.

“Oh” is all Liam replied.

For some reason Zayn felt the need to tell Liam more. “I paint” he blurted out “and it’s not going very well at the moment because whenever I’m sitting there, with hours and hours up my sleeve and a paintbrush in my hand, I can’t think of anything. I go completely blank. Usually I have things that nag at the back of my mind wanting to be put down on canvas and it’s the best feeling in the world just letting it all flow out like that… but for the last couple months: nothing.” Zayn blushed a bit at having revealed so much and he looked back up at Liam to find him with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Is that why you were scowling before” Liam jested.

Zayn laughed again, embarrassment caused by his outburst forgotten as he let himself fall into the light-heartedness that Liam seemed to exude. “I wasn't scowling” He denied.

“You were” Liam insisted, “unless you were practising your Stefan Salvatore impression.”

Zayn couldn't help but laugh again “I didn't pick you for someone who watches _The Vampire Diaries_.”

“Hey now” he put his hands up in defence “Nina Dobrev is really fit. Besides, you can’t tease me if you understood the reference.”

“I suppose that’s true” Zayn conceded, a bit shattered by the ‘Nina Dobrev’ comment. He tried to force a smile.

“Well… I think it’s cool that you paint” Liam says, all teasing gone, his eyes shining with sincerity. And Zayn forgot about Nina Dobrev.


	2. I Disagree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See disclaimer on chapter one.

Liam was surprised by the boy named Zayn and he got so caught up in their conversation that it wasn’t until he watched Zayn throw away his now-empty coffee cup that Liam remembered he’d only come to ask if Zayn needed help.

“I’m sorry. You’ve got things to do don’t you?” Liam asked “I didn’t mean to just… sorry” Liam cringed at himself. He’d just clung to Zayn without another thought, just needing a distraction from economics.

“I have nothing to do” Zayn placated quickly, smiling at him “don’t apologize please. I was only going to go back to an empty flat full of-” he stopped talking suddenly and his face dropped while Liam watched him search through his pockets. “Fuuckkk… for fuck’s sake” he sighs with exasperation.

“What did you forget?” Liam asked timidly.

“Keys… to my flat. Fuck.” he cursed again as he glanced at his watch “Harry’s not home till five either.” Liam looked at his own watch to see that it was only 1pm. Liam looked at Zayn as his eyebrows puckered and Zayn started to glower again. He looked suddenly miserable.

“God, you look like you’re about to cry” Liam teased sympathetically, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’d go by Harry’s work but… there’s someone I’m trying desperately to avoid. Uh, I don’t even have my phone” Zayn managed, depressed. Liam ignored the instinct to smooth out the lines between Zayn’s eyebrows and gestured for them to sit down instead.

“Oh god… tell me about it” Liam instructed firmly. This forced a laugh from Zayn as he sat down next to Liam.

“You sound like a teenage girl who’s gotten a whiff of new gossip” Zayn giggled. Liam blanched; Zayn just giggled.

“Look who’s talking! You just giggled!!” Liam laughed as Zayn slapped a hand across his mouth.

“You didn’t hear that!” Zayn threatened, eyes alight, and Liam thinks about how weird it is that this conversation is the most fun he’s had for a while.

“Anyway, tell me about this person you’re so desperate to avoid” Zayn groaned at this but he didn’t drop his smile or the glint in his eye.

“Well, _Harrrryy_ thought it would be a good idea to set us up on a date.”

“Oh no” Liam whispered and he’s pleased to see Zayn’s smile grow.

“Anyway, I knew right away that I wasn’t into it. He was too loud and pushy and-“

“He?” Liam questioned before he could stop himself. He watched Zayn’s eyes widen apprehensively.

“Yeah… He- Nick was just… I didn’t like him.” Zayn said nervously. Liam nodded quickly, trying to ignore the way that pronoun had made his chest tighten. “Well anyway, he’d liked me. He insisted on driving me home… _aaaaannnd_ walking me to my door. Next thing I know I’m being pushed against it and he’s all over me and I can’t get him off” Zayn winced and Liam felt suddenly angry. “It was horrible; he was groping me and basically forced his tongue down my throat…” Zayn cringed at the memory.

Liam leaned forward instinctively; more engaged in the story than he probably should have been. Zayn grinned at him suddenly and added dramatically “I never punched anybody so hard in my life.” Liam laughed and Zayn beamed at him.

“Goood job!!! Liam congratulated, patting him on the back “what an asshole!!”

“Yeah. Needless to say I’ve been avoiding him since” Zayn finished.

“Well, that settles it then” Liam said, suddenly nervous.

“Settles what?”

“I’ll get your flatmate’s keys for you” Liam stated in the most confident way he could.

“Why?” Zayn asked, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“Well I don’t want to be responsible for you getting man-handled” Liam said obviously. Zayn laughed.

“Really? You’re going to help me just so I can avoid this guy?”

 “Yeah… well I want a distraction from all of this anyway,” Liam gestured to the pile of books still sitting a table away. “So really you’d be doing me a favour.”

“Ok” Zayn agreed, something flashed in his eyes, and Liam couldn’t decide what it was… or why it sent a nervous thrill through his body. He just knew that he couldn’t let this guy go just yet.

-

Zayn had helped return Liam’s books and they had left, Zayn tugged his jacket tighter around himself as they headed against the wind. And Liam had watched him curiously and tried to identify what it was about the guy that knocked him so off balance. It was definitely something that he hadn’t felt before. Liam had close friends but he had never fit so well with them so immediately. It was more than that though, Liam decided; Zayn made Liam feel the most comfortable, yet the most on edge he’s ever been. Something was off but it only made Liam eager to get to know him more.

“Do you mind?” Zayn asked Liam, taking him off guard before Liam realised he was gesturing to a cigarette in his hand.

“Oh” was all Liam said. He didn’t like cigarettes, he never had. But there was something about the idea of it that changed when Zayn was added to the equation. So he said “not at all, go ahead” and watched Zayn intensely as he lit his cigarette with well-practised fingers and inhaled.

“Aren’t you cold?” Zayn asked him, smoke curling out with the words.

“Huh?” Liam asked, distracted. He had been staring at the way Zayn’s cheeks had hollowed around his cigarette. Zayn caught his gaze this time, and Liam looked up into his eyes a little guiltily, before the question was repeated.

“I said ‘aren’t you cold?’ you’re barely wearing anything” Zayn had a thoughtful expression on his face which made Liam want to know exactly what he was thinking about.

“Not really” Liam answered after a moment.

Zayn moved his hand out to brush against some obvious goose-bumps on Liam’s arm, leaving a searing trail where his fingers had touched, but all he said was “if you say so” with a smile playing on his lips. He brought his cigarette back to his mouth and Liam looked up automatically to catch the hollowing of his cheeks again.

They walked in companionable silence mostly, and it was a refreshing change to Louis and Niall’s almost constant chatter. Liam liked it; the way neither he nor Zayn needed to fill the silence.

“Ok, here we are” Zayn said a while later as they came to a stop outside… well, outside…

“This is the studio for Radio One” Liam stated.

“Yep” replied Zayn, popping the ‘p’.

“You mean to say that you live with _Harry_ from ‘Non-stop Nick and Harry’?” Zayn didn’t reply, looking like he’s waiting for something, and then Liam’s sucked in a sharp breath. “ _Nick…_ You punched _Nick_ from ‘Non-stop Nick and Harry’ in the _face_?” Liam laughed incredulously and Zayn pulled a face, sticking out his tongue. 

_“Well..._ he’s a _dick”_ Zayn moaned. Liam just laughed for a solid minute as Zayn frowned at him.

“Are you quite finished?” he asked finally, annoyed.

Liam lifted his hands, palms up, “Sorry… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of laughed; this is serious” he said between sniggers.

“Oh cut it would you?” Zayn grizzled, but Liam could see a smile creeping onto his face. Then Liam froze.

“Wait, I’m supposed to go in there?” he looked up and it’s Zayn’s turn to laugh.

“Yep, you promised” he smirked. “Find Harry; he’s the gangly one with the ‘luscious curls’ and the ‘irresistible dimples’”.

“Will they let me in?”

Zayn smiled “just mention my name at the door baby” he chuckled.

“Oh god, what have I got myself into” Liam despaired and he decided the tightening in his chest was from the thought of going inside and not because Zayn had called him ‘baby’. Zayn just pushed him toward the doors.

 

There’s a woman sitting behind a reception desk and she looked up at him as he walks in. “Can I help you?” she asked through a wide smile.

“Uh- yeah, I need to see Harry” Liam managed.

“‘You need to see Harry’?” she repeated, amused.

“Yep.”

“Is he expecting you?” she tried again.

“No. I’m Liam… I’m a friend of his, and of his flatmate’s Zayn. You see Zayn’s locked himself out and he’s asked me to come and get Harry’s set of keys.” He tried to sound like he had complete authority to be there. “Zayn’s just out there see?” he gestured out the window where Zayn could be seen kicking at the pavement.

The receptionist peered out at Zayn and then nodded her head. Finally she led Liam to an elevator and swiped a card for the third floor. The doors open to a studio and Liam could see a couple guys sitting around computers and microphones. One of them has a mop of curly hair and a large smile and as he opened his mouth Liam could hear his pleasant drawl through a speaker near his head.

“You’ll have to wait until they get off air” the woman stated rather unnecessarily and Liam stood listening to Harry introduce a new single from Drake. Liam watched as the receptionist knocked against a window and the two of them turned toward her. Liam laughed as the other one turned because he was sporting a very prominent black eye. He quickly cut off his laughter with his hand as they both exited the recording studio.

Harry looked at him with confusion but sharp interest as the receptionist muttered “Some guy called Liam? Says he’s a friend of yours and Zayn’s?”

 “Oh, ok” is all he said before he was making his way toward Liam.

“Leeyuumm” Harry burst out spreading his arms out and embracing Liam in a hug before he whispered “why are we supposed to know each other?” in his ear.

“Uh, Zayn locked himself out and he wanted to borrow your keys…”

“But he didn’t want to come in and get them” Harry said knowingly.

“Exactly” Liam explained and he cast a glance toward Nick who was frowning at the two of them.

“Ok” Harry said simply, and he pulled a bunch of keys out of his pocket and dropped them into Liam’s hand.

Liam frowned at Harry “That’s it? You believe me just like that?” then he frowned again because that was a stupid thing to say.

“Shouldn’t I?” Harry laughed, but he didn’t let Liam answer; “I believe you because you’re exactly Zayn’s type” he whispered. And before Liam could say he anything Harry shot him a wink and headed back inside leaving Liam opening and closing his mouth in surprise.   _What the hell? He was exactly Zayn’s type? …Fuck. What was he supposed to do with that information?_ Liam thought.  But then a second later he thought that maybe he knew exactly what he wanted to do… And that idea fucked him up really badly.

“Did you say you know Zayn?” a voice asked, pulling Liam out of his reverie. He looked up to see Nick frowning down at him.

“Yeah… that’s right” Liam replied.

“I haven’t seen him around here for a bit” Nick mumbled and an idea flittered through Liam’s head.

“Well” Liam started with an amused laugh and gestured for Nick to lean in. “I promised not to tell anyone but… there’s this guy he’s avoiding… _shocking bad breath;_ tried to stick his tongue down poor Zayn’s throat a while back. Let’s just say it took a right hook before he got the message… Poor lad…” Liam finished, shaking his head sympathetically before he looked up into Nick’s shocked face. “What did you say your name was?” Liam asked innocently.

“I didn’t” Nick replied coldly.

“Oh…” Liam said, mock affronted, “alright then. Have a nice day!” he beamed pleasantly and then he turned around and walked out the door, keys tight in his hand. _What the hell did he just do? What the hell was Zayn doing to him?_

-

Zayn was waiting anxiously on the street, chewing his fingernails. He was into Liam. God did he know it. But Liam was straight, so straight. If anybody could ‘look’ straight, they’d look like Liam… But fuck he’s _fit!_ But it was also more than that: Liam was nice, he was decent and the kind of person Zayn would want as a friend. Could he be his friend? He wanted to. He’d have to try, because this was the best day he’d had in months, and it had been the worst before he’d run into Liam. Friend. Pal. Buddy. He could do that. He could try.

He heard Liam before he saw him.

“We have to leave” Liam let out manically.

“What?” Zayn spun around to face him.

“We really should leave” Liam said, a little calmer.

“What did you do?” Zayn asked and he watched Liam’s eyes shift around.

“Here’s your keys.” is all he said as he pushed them into Zayn’s hand and Zayn was pretty sure he imagined the way Liam’s hand lingered against his own. “Is there a pub around here?” he asked suddenly “I think I need a drink.”

“No really... What did you do?”

“Why do you think I did something? I didn’t do anything. I _never_ do _anything_ like that”

“Like what Liam? You’re acting like a crazy person”

Liam stopped rambling and focused on Zayn’s stare. He just gazed at him for several drawn out seconds and Zayn could hardly breathe.  Then Liam looked away and asked: “Do you want to get a drink? I need a drink.”

“I don’t have my wallet”

“My shout” Liam stated, without looking at Zayn.

“Liam…”

“Where’s the nearest pub Zayn?!” and he looked at Zayn then and there was a desperate look in his eyes and Zayn could only point down the street.

-

“You know it’s only two thirty right?” Zayn asked as he watched Liam settle into the booth next to him. He’d directed Liam to the Irish pub he usually met Harry at for after-work drinks. It was basically empty at the moment though and the booth they’d chosen was far enough away from the bar that Zayn felt like the two of them were in a weird, private bubble. This put him on edge a bit and he picked at the aging upholstery covering his seat.

“Yep” Liam said as he pushed a glass of beer along the table toward Zayn, spilling a bit as the glass stuttered over the table top.

“Are you an alcoholic? Because you don’t really seem the type” Liam just laughed and shook his head. Zayn nodded, he hadn’t been too concerned about that possibility but it was good to know. Liam’s behaviour was confused Zayn exceedingly. “Right… and you’re not going to tell me what you did back there?”

“That’s right” Liam replied, blotting at the spilled beer with a paper napkin.

“So, you admit that you did something?” Zayn asked, turning his body toward Liam a bit so he could watch his face.

Liam looked up with a grin “Maybe. But I’m not going to tell you… How long ago did you punch Nick by the way?” he asked, grinning wider.

“Just less than a week ago… Why?”

“Oh? Wow” Liam barked out a laugh and put his hand on Zayn’s shoulder. “You marked him up good, that’s why.” Liam laughed again before adding “I thought you said you hadn’t painted anything good for ages…? But you should be really _really_ proud of the picture you’ve turned his face into.”

Zayn laughed along with him this time “Really?” he asked and Liam just laughed and nodded and took a sip of his beer.

“I think it’s cool you paint, by the way. Did I tell you?” Liam asked suddenly sincere, looking up at him.

“I think you did mention it” Zayn replied with a coy smile.

“I think it’s cool that you’re brave enough to go after something like that” Liam said earnestly, without looking away. “I wish I could do that. Try to make a career out of something I loved rather than just becoming some sort of puppet of my father’s.” Zayn just nodded, shocked at the sudden turn in Liam, but he could hear passion in Liam’s voice and he soaked it up. “I mean, what’s the point of getting a job you don’t like right?” Liam continued, “It’s going to take up the majority of your life for the next 40 years right? Even if the pay’s great, what’s the point? When you can’t even enjoy your life?” Zayn listened intently and Liam continued. “Like, even if you don’t make a bunch of money out of doing something you love… at the end of the day, you’re still doing something you love. Do you know what I mean?” he looked at Zayn intensely and Zayn found himself nodding emphatically.

Listening to Liam speak like that made Zayn want to kiss him. He let his gaze drop down to Liam’s lips which were full and looked like they would feel soft and warm against his own. Zayn bit onto his own lip as his mind drifted to other parts of his body he wouldn’t mind having Liam’s mouth on. Zayn tried to shake the image out of his head. He picked up his beer instead and forced a gulp of it down his throat to distract himself.

“My Dad doesn’t know what I mean” Liam blurted out. And Zayn looked back up to see sadness in Liam’s face that he hadn’t seen until now. “He thinks that ‘proper careers’ come from spending a tonne of money on the right degree and then spending half your life working at a job you hate so you can pay it back.” He let out, in one big huff of breath, and hung his head.

“That must suck” Zayn sympathised.

“Yep” is all Liam replied.

“Hey” Zayn said, and Liam looked up at him again. “Are you ok?” Zayn asked searching Liam’s face, He didn’t know what to do with emotional rollercoaster Liam had turned into.

Liam didn’t answer. He just stared at Zayn and Zayn watched as his face shifted from sadness to confusion. Then Liam whispered something so softly that Zayn was sure he’d misheard him.

“What?” Zayn managed to cough out.

“Why. Do. I. Want. You.” Liam repeated huskily. And Zayn knew he hadn’t misheard him this time because there was something in Liam’s eyes that reflected his words. And Zayn couldn’t move from under Liam’s heavy gaze. And he wouldn’t have been able to move anyway because his body was still trying to recover from the effect the roughness in Liam’s words had just had on him; an effect words shouldn’t be able to have. And Zayn was hit with a violent wave of lust and he wanted Liam more than he had wanted anything in his life. He wanted his hands all over him, wanted his mouth on Liam’s mouth, his tongue tasting Liam’s tongue, wanted his skin on Liam’s skin, wanted to have him on his bed back at his place and he wanted to lay him across the table and have him right there. And he wanted. Or maybe he needed.

Liam moved hesitantly toward him then and Zayn was still frozen stiff until Liam’s mouth was pressing softly against his own. And Zayn relaxed against Liam and Liam’s lips felt even softer and warmer than Zayn had imagined. But then his lips were gone before Zayn had even gotten a proper taste. His eyes blinked open to see Liam stare at him.

Liam’s face would have been comical if Zayn wasn’t so hungry to have his mouth back on his again. His eyes were wide, mouth in a tight line and his cheeks painted a perfect pink. He seemed to be on the verge of saying something but he was only making small sounds. Zayn watched as emotion after emotion played across Liam’s face: horror, confusion, curiosity, interest, horror, want, disbelief, confusion, want. Liam leaned closer again, closing his eyes and he leant his forehead against Zayn’s.  Zayn shifted slightly toward him, finding a position on the booth seat that he could work with.

“I’m- I’m straight…” Liam managed to whisper against Zayn’s mouth. And Zayn wasn’t going to accept that was he.

“I disagree” Zayn whispered back before he tilted his head up to catch Liam’s bottom lip between his teeth and gently pulled. This made Liam stutter out a quiet moan and Zayn hardened slightly in his jeans.  Zayn needed more so he let Liam’s lip drag out from between his teeth so he could catch Liam in an open mouthed kiss instead. Letting one of his hands find Liam’s waist while the other curled up around the back of his neck, Zayn pulled Liam closer. Liam kissed him back, his own hands on the sides of Zayn’s face as his lips moved against Zayn’s hungrily. Zayn ran his tongue across the bottom of Liam’s lip before flicking it in to taste the inside of Liam’s mouth. And _fuck_ he tasted… _So. Fucking. Good._ Zayn’s brain was chaos and he didn’t know where to put his hands because really he just wanted to put them everywhere so he kind of just touched Liam wherever he could reach and Liam’s body was against his and he didn’t know which of them had made that happen but it was perfect because the feeling was so fucking hot that he could only moan into Liam’s mouth in appreciation.

Finally Zayn moved his mouth off Liam’s and if he hadn’t just had the best fucking kiss he’d ever had he would’ve thought that just breathing in Liam like he was, was the best thing in the world. But Zayn wanted even more so he breathed hotly over Liam’s jaw, as his mouth moved toward his neck. He found Liam’s pulse and pressed a wet kiss to his skin there and he smiled against Liam’s skin as Liam’s head fell back against the seat and Zayn trailed his hot kisses down to the pretty mark he’d spotted earlier.

“You- you- we should stop” Liam murmured without conviction and Zayn ignored the half-hearted words to quickly suck a hicky into the base of Liam’s neck. He still didn’t understand why he felt so strongly about this boy but he wanted to leave his mark. _“Fuuucckk”_ Liam breathed and Zayn was pretty sure that it was the first time he’d heard Liam swear and it turned him on so much and all he wanted to do was make Liam say it again and again and again. So he trailed a hand down between their bodies to brush his knuckles against Liam’s hardening cock.

“No” Liam choked, his body rapidly tensing. Suddenly Liam was pushing Zayn away and he jumped out of his reach. Zayn felt empty as the warmth of Liam’s body disappeared and he looked up at Liam with a frown.

“Wh-what?” Zayn stuttered. Hoping that maybe he’d misread the signs and Liam actually wasn’t about to leave him the way it looked like he was.

Liam didn’t look at Zayn at all as he muttered “I’m sorry- I need to go… I- I don’t…You, yeah- You’ve got the keys so- I just… I have to go” and then he walked out leaving Zayn alone except for two, barely touched, glasses of beer.


	3. Like the Coffee Machine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer on Chapter One.

“C’mon Lou… pick up, pick up, pick up” Liam muttered hysterically at his phone. Where the fuck was he? Liam had boosted it. As soon as he’d been out of that door he’d just chosen a direction and ran until he couldn’t run anymore. Once he was far enough away from Zayn that he could think again he’d taken a round-about way to get to Louis’ house. Of course Louis wasn’t home. So now Liam had been left to pacing outside his house and cursing as his call to Louis went to voicemail again.

“God Lou pick up the fucking phone!!”

_“‘Lo?”_

“Thank fucking god!! About fucking time Lou! Honestly!”

_“Liam? What the hell’s wrong with you?”_ his voice was curious more than anything.

“Just… where are you? I think I’m having a mental breakdown”

_“Ok… Breathe bro ok? I’m at Niall’s”_

“Oh… ok. Um, I’m at yours. Can you just come get me or just get here or something?”

_“You’re at mine? Why? I avoid my place like the plague... you know that.”_

“God, yeah… my brain’s foggy that’s all” Liam cursed himself.

_“Well as long as that’s all”_ Louis chuckled. _“I’ll be there in five.”_

“Thanks Lou” and he hung up before Louis could ask him anything else.

 

When Louis pulled up Liam was sitting in the gutter with his hands between his knees and trying to control his breathing. It didn’t help that he’d just run across London but he was sure that was secondary at that moment. Louis eyed him curiously as he slipped into the passenger seat of his Merc.

“What the hell happened to you?!” he exclaimed as he saw Liam’s contorted face.

“God Lou, I don’t even know really. But… errr, there’s a reason I called you and not Niall.”

“Oh?” Louis eyebrow shot up and he turned his engine off before turning to study Liam more closely. “And what’s that?... And WHAT is THAT?!” He pointed to Liam’s neck. “Is that a hicky?”

“Huh?” Liam slapped the visor down to see a rather obvious bruise on his neck. _“Shit”_.

“Well?”

“Well…” he dropped his eyes to his hands as he twisted his watch around his wrist.

“C’mon Liam… You’re killing me here” Louis laughed “Spit it out”.

“It’s just that… ok. Um, here I go…” he looked up at Louis quickly before turning to look out the window. He knew that Louis would _probably_ take it well. But he wasn’t certain. Louis huffed impatiently as he waited for Liam to continue. “I just had the hottest make out session I’ve ever had in my life”.

Louis visibly relaxed at the confession and snorted in amusement. “…and you’re upset because? Wait. Is she married? Liam!! You dog!”

“God Louis! Shut up ok? This is serious!!” Liam felt like his head was about to split.

“Well ok” Louis made a gesture of surrender. “I’m just confused as to why a wild make-out session has you this upset”

“You know how I said there was a reason I called you?” Liam began slowly.

“Yeah?” Louis confirmed, looking more confused than ever.

“Wellthatscuzthiswildmakeoutsessionwaswithaguyandthatstheproblem” he rushed out. Louis just looked at him blankly, obviously having not followed that at all.

“What?”

“itwassaguy”

“Say again?”

“It. Was. A. Guy. I-JUST-HAD-SOME-GUY’S-TONGUE-DOWN-MY-THROAT-AND-IT-WAS-THE-HOTTEST-THING-EVER-AND-HE-WAS-A-GUY!” He looked at Louis just in time to see his jaw drop ridiculously low. “Did you get that?” Liam finished.

“I…Wow…You” is all Louis said.

“Did I just leave Louis Tomlinson speechless?” Liam asked, small smile on his lips. He didn’t shock Louis often.

“I was NOT expecting that…” Louis confirmed. Then he laughed… for about a minute.

“Louis…” Liam warned.

“Sorry… stopping” he chortled before taking two deep breaths and facing Liam again. “You’re Liam”.

“I was aware of that.”

“You’re the straightest person I know.” Louis said in amazement. Liam just shrugged and squirmed a bit as Louis continued to stare at him, amazed expression still spread across his face. “Just…How?”

“Right…” Liam gulped in a breath. “Well, I was in the library...”

Liam skimmed through the story as quick as he could and Louis only interrupted him a couple of times to say things like “You can confuse a coffee machine?” and “You met Nick and Harry from ‘Nonstop Nick and Harry’?”. Finally Liam got to the bit at the pub and he had to look away from Louis’ too-awed facial expression to finish the story.

“I hardly even brushed his lips Louis and then… he just- he just lit this fire inside of me Lou- He was so god damn hot in that leather jacket and those hungry eyes- he was so… and, I only pecked him Louis. I wasn’t prepared.”

_“It started out with a kiss how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.”_ Louis sang.

“Thanks Louis. That’s helpful” Liam dead panned.

“Wait. Did you say leather jacket?” Louis asked, his tone became a little accusatory.

“uhh, I might have.”

“When you say ‘he was in the library’ would you say that he showed up at about the time we left?” Liam knew exactly where Louis was heading with this. It was Louis who had made him so curious from the beginning after all.

“I guess it was around that time… yeah” he admitted and Louis’ eyes widened.

“Ripped jeans? Pink Floyd t-shirt? Tattoos? 5 o’clock shadow? Perfect skin? Great hair? Bad mood?” Louis questioned moving closer and closer to Liam’s face.

“…That does sound a bit familiar, yeah.” Liam cringed as he watched Louis’ outraged expression. “Look; this whole thing’s your fault actually because I saw your blatant ‘fuck me’ stare and then I wanted to get his number for you so you’d drop your grudge for ‘dragging you back to this hell-hole’. And now look what happened?!” he finished, wondering if his attempt to put it all on Louis would hold.

“Don’t put this on me mister!! So you saw me check him out? And yet you still….? No, that’s not really important. Let me start again.” Louis took a deep breath and pulled Liam’s hand into a handshake looking impressed. “Firstly, congratu-fucking-lations!! Secondly… what the hell is wrong with you? You can’t ‘just kiss’ guys like that. What were you thinking? He is NOT the sort of guy to test your sexuality on. He’s the sort of guy that you get to fuck your brains out so you can forget about everything except the way he says your name!”

Liam shifted uncomfortably under Louis’ stare, blushing and looking anywhere except for Louis’ face.

“Wow. Look at you. You’re sweating… You just imagined him fucking your brains out didn’t you? Jesus, he’s got you good” Louis chuckled. “So… what happened? After you were getting all handsy and swapping saliva… you didn’t say what happened.”

“What do you mean? I gapped it of course”

“You just left him?” Louis looked appalled.

“What else was I supposed to do-“

“Let him fuck your brains out?” Louis suggested quickly.

“Louis!” Liam scolded.

“What? I can’t believe you just left that divine thing just sitting there”

“I’m straight! I’d never-”

“You’re a liar. You just admitted you wanted to-”

“No I didn’t” Liam denied.

“Ok,” Louis agreed “you didn’t ‘admit’ it. But I know you were thinking about it”.

“Louis…” Liam’s tone softened and Louis dropped his grin “I can’t, I couldn’t… Do you know what my father would say?”

“Oh… So that’s the problem here?” Louis asked quietly.

“Well, that… and the fact that I don’t even know what happened to my brain… I feel like he just confused me into it… like the coffee machine.”

“Like the coffee machine…” Louis repeated.

“Yep: just like he did with the coffee machine. Good. I’m glad we sorted that, let’s go.” His tone was one of finality and Louis only stared at him for several seconds before he started the car.

-

He had burst in to his own empty flat around four after sculling both pints Liam had left him with. He felt weird; a little hurt and a lot rejected but, mostly he felt… invigorated. And that was weird wasn’t it? He was sure it was.

Once he had come through the door he’d wandered around his and Harry’s apartment a little bit lost. He stopped every now and then, startled by his own thoughts… thoughts that sounded slightly ridiculous even in his head. Finally Harry walked in and saved Zayn from listening to his mind any longer.

“Hey Harry” Zayn began “how was your day?”

Harry gave him a quizzical half-smile that spoke leagues about how many questions he wanted to hurtle at him. But he just perched himself on the kitchen bench in front of Zayn before he replied.

“Well Zayn, since you’re asking so nicely; I had a very _intriguing_ day. As it happens I met a lovely boy named Liam. Curiously, he had been sent on a mission to retrieve my keys. Isn’t that interesting? Said he was a friend of mine and yet _I’d_ never met him in my life… Luckily he had ‘Zayn’s type’ written all over him or I wouldn’t have believed his story about you being a forgetful dope that charms people into doing your bidding…”

“Here are your keys?” Zayn offered in explanation as he handed Harry his bulky set of keys and silly key chains.

“Well? Tell me about it… Where did you meet him? Give me the details. Will I be the best man at your wedding?... Haha don’t answer the last one - of course I will be.”

“Ha… Well I met him four, maybe five, hours ago. We chatted, he insisted on retrieving your keys, he retrieved your keys, he bought me a beer, he got all deep and beautiful, he kissed me, he told me he was straight, I kissed him, we kissed… like… kissed and oh it was delicious and then… he apologized and ran away.”

“Why are you smiling?” Harry asked, amused.

“I have no idea. Well… the whole thing was a bit crazy. You know? We were just chatting like best mates and… I mean… I was eye-fucking him all day but… he was obviously straight. And I was pretty gutted about it but then… after he got those keys he was all… distracted and _weird_.”

“Ah” said Harry.

“What?” Zayn asked sharply.

“Well… I may have made the assumption he was interested in you. I mean he seemed smitten to me… You should’ve heard the way he said your name. And he was acting very… protective. He was scowling at Grimmy like nobody’s business.”

“ _Scowling_ ” Zayn murmured fondly. Harry frowned and arched a questioning eyebrow. “Sorry… keep going” Zayn muttered, embarrassed.

“Well he was curious as to why I trusted his story so easily and I, assured of his affection, told him I believed because…”

“Because why?”

“I told him I believed him because he was just your type…” he gritted his teeth in preparation for Zayn’s onslaught.

“That would’ve done it” Zayn dead-panned.

“But you said he kissed you first so… he must’ve thought about what I said and decided you were just his type too”

“But I’m not his type am I? Because girls are his type”

“But you’re not a girl”

“Exactly”

“So why did he kiss you first?”

“… and tell me he wanted me…?” Zayn added.

“Ooooo… See? I told you he liked you. Definitely ring him. Talk about it… Tell him you’ve fallen deeply in love with him and want to get married and then ask him to not be straight” offered Harry.

“I can’t-“

“Of course you can… Don’t be such a wimp”

“I can’t because I don’t have his number…” Zayn continued.

“Oh… well, that’s ok… What’s his last name then?” Harry asked.

“I have absolutely no idea…”

“Well fuck.”

 

It wasn’t until Zayn found himself sweaty and too alert in a twist of sheets in the middle of the night, that he realised what he needed to do. So, grasping onto the potent tendrils of the dream that had just laced themselves through Zayn’s brain like searing threads of gold; Zayn slipped out of bed and quietly headed to the spare room turned art studio. As soon as he had his paintbrush in his hand he could feel how everything had changed. Only this morning he had felt completely useless; now he felt charged and he was spreading paint confidently over his canvas, soft pink tongue pressed between his lips, before he’d even spent five minutes in front of it.


	4. The Collection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer on chapter one.

Liam did try to forget Zayn. He did. And it was working to an extent. He almost forgot the shade of golden brown of his eyes and the way they had darkened with lust. He had almost forgotten how turned on he’d been when Zayn had tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth. He almost convinced himself that his mind didn’t take him to that day every time he jerked off in the shower… That the lips he thought of were the lips of the girl in that club. He almost believed that he’d walked over to that girl because of her pretty hair and not because he’d seen her with a cigarette and wanted that taste on his tongue once more. Almost.

He’d seen Zayn once since that day. He’d avoided the library for the most part, just visiting every now and again to check out the books that he needed. It was almost exactly a month to the day and Liam was just about to emerge from between two bookshelves when he’d spotted Zayn at that stupid coffee machine; The one that Liam tried not to stare at when he was there. Liam had sunk back into hiding, clutching at the books with a bit more ferocity then was probably good for them, and watched him.

He wore the same ripped black jeans but instead of completing his ensemble with a leather jacket, he wore a sloppy looking jumper with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. It was disconcerting, seeing him so soft and warm and approachable looking. It was different. _He_ was different, Liam realised. He was clean shaven and his eyes looked brighter than they had the day Liam had met him. He looked content and Liam decided that might have something to do with the smear of paint up Zayn’s forearm.

Liam was pleased that he seemed happier but he was also jealous. He was jealous that that day hadn’t wrecked Zayn like it had wrecked Liam. Liam had been sleeping horribly and his brain had been scrambled so well that it hurt to think most of the time. The only thing that told Liam that Zayn hadn’t cleared his mind of it all was when Zayn gazed too long at the table Liam had sat that morning. But then Zayn had walked out the door before Liam could even decide whether or not to approach him.

It was harder to pretend he’d forgotten Zayn after that.

 

-

 

“Zayyyyy-ayyynnnn” he heard being sung from the kitchen, “dinner’s readddyyyyyyy”. Zayn stood, stretching and cracking his back.  He surveyed his work and smiled. The room was filled with art: his art. And he loved it.

He slipped out of the room and found Harry sitting at the kitchen table with two plates of Spaghetti Bolognese and a grin on his face.

“What are you smiling at?” Zayn asked.

“You” Harry replied simply, “I like happy Zayn”.

Zayn returned Harry’s smile and sat down in front of his meal. It smelt phenomenal. 

“So…” Harry began.

“So…?”

“When do I get to see it all?!” Harry stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You can’t hide it from me forever, isn’t the dealer coming over tomorrow?”. That she was, and Zayn was suddenly nervous.

“What if it’s shit?” Zayn muttered.

“Maybe it is. I don’t know… I haven’t seen it”. Harry smirked but after a scowl from Zayn he looked a little more sympathetic.

“You know it’s great because I see you smile every time you leave that room. Just show it to me Zayn!” Harry implored. Zayn frowned down at his dinner, watching as more and more spaghetti wrapped around his turning fork.

“Uhh..” Harry wasn’t going to get off his case about it and he did need a second opinion; it’s just that Zayn felt a bit self-conscious showing other people these particular paintings. “Fiiiinnnnne. I’ll show you after. But you can’t laugh”

“Why would I laugh?” Harry asked, confused but excited, before popping a meatball in his mouth.

Zayn sighed, and thought about what Harry would think about him after he saw them… “You’ll see…”.

 

When Zayn opened the door to his makeshift studio for Harry, he felt a jolt of nerves run through his body. Harry walked into the room, with Zayn on his heels, and sucked in a large breath of air. Zayn chewed on his lip and tried to look over the room through the eyes of an outsider.

Some were dark, some were bright, some were soft shapes and colours and some were sharp and powerful; but they were all _him_. Every single one.

In one, a warm blur of reds and browns made the shape of the person unclear but it still felt like the boy he’d met that day. One focused on just the simple lines and shadows of his throat; a tribute to the small mark that could be found there. In one there were just two dark shadows sitting side by side in a barren landscape. In another, just his eyes as they looked straight out from under strong eyebrows; Zayn had spared no colour as he’d added more depth and more detail until they shone as brightly as Zayn remembered they had.

It wasn’t like he’d meant to go so crazily out of control; it was just that Liam was the only thing he’d needed to get out. His head was so full of Liam all the time and there were so many things about him he’d wanted to put down; every emotion, every angle, every bit of him. He imagined that Harry thought him a little crazy at that moment. He thought himself a little crazy if he was being honest.

“Zayn…” Harry breathed as he turned to look at him, “these- these are magnificent.” Zayn exhaled noisily in relief. “I mean… you’re crazy, you’re obsessed, you are out of your god-damned mind insane! ... but you’re incredibly bloody talented. Shit!” Zayn smiled in spite of himself.

“You really like them?” Zayn queried and Harry rolled his eyes.

“You’ve kind of portrayed him beautifully-“

“He _is_ beautiful” Zayn amended, before he could refrain himself. Harry coughed pointedly and Zayn felt a blush creep up his cheeks.

“You know… everyone who sees these are going to know you’re in love with this boy.”  

“I’m not in love with him”

“You’re something…”

“He just inspires me. That’s all.” Zayn didn’t think that was all…

 _“What else could I do?”_ Harry started to sing, a cheeky smile on his face, _“ I’m so inspired by yooouu.”_

“Nope. Stop. Don’t-” Zayn struggled but Harry just sang louder.

_“That hasn’t happened for the longggggest time. WOAH-OH-OAH (the longest) for the longest tiiime. WOAH-OH-OAH-”_

“Ok. Shut up Billy Joel. You can stop that right now” Zayn grumbled but Harry was having too much fun. He watched as Harry pirouetted in the middle of the room.

“ _I want you SOOOOO bad… I think you UN-der-stand that I intend to hold you for the longgggggest time. WOAH-OH-OAH (the longest) for the longest tiiiime”_

“Ok… Leaving” Zayn growled and he was moving out the door.

“Wait!! What’s that?” Zayn’s chest tightened as he turned around, but he already knew what Harry had found. He had danced himself to the furthest corner of the room and was pulling a painting forward to reveal the one Zayn had purposefully put at the back.

“Ahhhh… That’s-”

“Holy fuckkk…. Zayynnnn…” Harry sounded in awe.

“I’m not selling that one” was the first defence that came to Zayn’s mind as Harry brought the canvas in question to the front.

“I should think not… How- What- This is something else Zayn” Zayn blushed deeply as he watched Harry look at it.

“I had a really hot dream..?” was Zayn’s second defence, “I needed to cleanse myself of it”.

The canvas was painted with mostly dark colours and shadows but you could still clearly tell that it was two people fucking. Zayn _had_ made it tasteful though.

“So that’s you and him..? Why am I even asking..” Harry murmured “I _know_ that it is… I’m glad that you’re kind of in the back. I don’t think I could look at it if it was _your_ face wearing that expression. No offence…” Harry trailed off.

“I agree” Zayn laughed. Harry was right, all you could see of Zayn was that he was slick against Liam’s back; his heavily tattooed arm reaching across Liam’s chest, pulling Liam down into his lap, and one arm brought around in front of them both and getting lost in the thoughtfully placed shadow between Liam’s legs. You could only see Zayn’s mess of dark hair as he dropped his head forward to bite onto Liam’s shoulder.

Liam was in the foreground, pulled back against Zayn’s body. One of his hands wound up and buried his fingers into Zayn’s hair and the other reached down behind him, blindly, to grasp onto Zayn’s thigh. His head was thrown back a little, over Zayn’s shoulder, but you could still see his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and his mouth hanging open in what was clearly a moan.

“Is it weird if it turns me on?” Harry questioned as he moved closer to peer at the detail in Zayn’s tattoo.

“Probably. I think we’re a sexy looking fucking couple though”.

“Except that you’re not a couple…”

“Oh thanks. I hadn’t noticed. _Jesus_ Harry…” Zayn grumbled. “Anyway, I think you’ve been looking at our naked bodies long enough now thank you very much. Time for you to leave.”

“You don’t even know if that’s what his naked body looks like. It could look completely different… He could have a large butterfly tattooed onto his stomach for all you know” Harry murmured as Zayn ushered him out the door.

“Who in their right mind would do that? ...Now get out please” and Zayn managed to scoot a disgruntled Harry out and he closed the room off behind the both of them.

 

Zayn _had_ meant it when he’d told Harry he wasn’t selling that one, he had. Things didn’t always turn out as planned though.

 

-

 

Liam was tired. He was tired of his father parading him around like an accessory, he was tired of struggling through his course when he didn’t care whether he passed or failed, he was tired of these little dinner dates his Dad sent him on with pretty girls. He was tired of it all. But it was what he knew and he could do it… he could.

He adjusted his tie as he looked in the full length mirror. He looked alright. It was good enough for the girl his father had his eye on for him. She was the daughter of a business partner and his dad thought she was lovely. In other words, he wanted Liam to help him close a deal. He and his father were invited for dinner at her house and Liam needed to at least pretend to make an effort. So he was wearing one of his favourite suits. It would please his father at the least.

“Liam??!!” His dad’s voice bellowed from downstairs “Get downstairs. We’re about to leave!”

“Be right down!!” he shouted back in reply and he quickly combed his hair in the way he liked before he met his dad by their Audi.

His father nodded in approval as he looked Liam up and down and then they both climbed into the car without a word. About ten minutes into the drive his father received a call. He flicked his eyes to Liam as he talked and his face reddened by the second. He spat a lot of “BULLSHIT”’s and “What sort of family do you think we are”’s and Liam began to get curious. “This is ridiculous… What’s the address?” was the last thing he heard his father say before he hung up.

“What was that all about?” Liam asked gingerly as he watched his father change lanes and head in completely the wrong direction.

“That was Bill un-inviting us to dinner” he said gruffly.

“Why?”

“That’s the interesting bit… What’s happened to the rumour mill these days?!” he spat. “If he thinks I’m going to take this sitting down he’s got another thing coming. Bloody ridiculous… We’ve been playing with their daughter’s heart…??!! FUCKING RIDICULOUS!!”. Finally he pulled the car up outside an unfamiliar building where a few people were milling around. Liam frowned; he had no idea where they were. “You stay there son. I’ll be back in a minute” and with that he threw himself out of the car leaving Liam alone and confused.

Ten minutes later his father returned and slipped back into the car, even more distressed then before. He sat stock still and Liam just stared at his father as he watched him huffing out hard angry breaths. When his father’s eyes flicked up to his own Liam suddenly felt frightened.

“Are you a fag Liam?” he said clear and low, eyes boring holes into Liam.

“What?! What are you talking about? You know I’m n-“

“DON’T LIE TO ME!!!” he burst out, and Liam squirmed a bit in shock.  “You’ve already humiliated me ENOUGH!!” his father fumed.

Liam tried to stay calm as he replied “I don’t know what you’re talking about Dad”. _It’s a coincidence. It’s just a coincidence_ Liam chanted to himself. _There’ll be an explanation. A miscommunication. There has to be… It’s a coincidence._

“I don’t believe you Liam… And I want your stuff out of my house by Saturday” his father growled.

“I don’t understand! What are you-“ Liam began.

“Get out of my car!!!! See for yourself… Just whatever you do, please leave… I _don’t_ want to see your face right now..”

Liam had no choice; he got out of the car and watched his father drive away. It wasn’t until he walked into the building and saw the art covering the walls that the pieces started falling together. 


	5. *crickets*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer on Chapter One

They were all over the walls… and they were all of him. At first Liam had decided there must have been a mix up and that the person in the paintings just looked a lot like him. But then he’d seen the birthmark on the neck and the blocky chevrons that could just be seen on the subjects arm. There were over a dozen of them; a whole collection. And he was the subject of every single one. Some were more intimate than others. Some were a little more abstract. Some had another person in them: someone starkly familiar. He didn't understand, the thought was there; hovering in his mind waiting to be thought of… but it wasn’t until he moved closer to a painting, one of his own familiar mouth, that he realised there was a name under every piece of work: Zayn Malik. His stomach twisted, but not in an unpleasant way, as he ran his fingers over the name. It was Zayn, Zayn had done these…

Liam moved slowly around the room looking at each piece for a few long moments. Somehow, in the mess and confusion of his brain, one thought slipped to the front of his mind: _Zayn hasn’t forgotten you after all._ The time and detail spent on each one sent a thrill of warmth through Liam’s body and he imagined Zayn working out every exact line and shadow of his face.

He was coping with it all to an extent. He was dealing with it in his head. But when Liam made his way over to the furthest corner; where several people were lingering around a canvas the size of his father’s flat screen… he suddenly stopped coping.

He moved closer and people turned to titter at him. He became totally overcome as he stood and studied the image. He felt so many things in that moment… angry, used, vulnerable, confused but the feeling that stood out above the rest… the feeling that was both the most prominent and the most out of place was how undeniably turned on he was by the startlingly sexual image of him and his artist named Zayn.

He found himself staring at the way Zayn’s arms pulled him against his body, the way you could see the muscles of his body straining, sweat dripping… _teeth biting…_ the way they both looked so _desperate_ for it. Liam was glad that the few people who had been hovering about him had disappeared. Because his feelings could probably be read cleanly off his face and he felt aroused; wave and wave of desire swirled around his stomach.Liam could do nothing but imagine a scene where they would be like this; wanting each other, needing each other… Everything that he had been trying to withhold since that day was now bubbling to the surface and all he could see was him and Zayn. _Liam and Zayn. Liam and Zayn. Zayn and Liam._ Over and over and over: whenever, wherever, however…  

-

Zayn felt mildly guilty about his collection when he saw them all hanging in the gallery. He definitely felt bad about _that_ one. He had forgotten to hide it back behind the others before Caroline visited and it had made a big impression on his art dealer… This was her gallery. He’d told her that there was no way he would let it leave his apartment. He’d meant it to, until she had whispered a figure into his ear. And so he’d been bribed into selling a pornographic image of himself and poor Liam, who had no idea about any of it.

He’d hung around the outside edges, trying to blend into the walls so that he could see how everybody saw them. He heard words like ‘passion’, ‘obsession’, love’ and ‘lust’ thrown around all night and he realised that everybody who walked through those doors would think the same thing: Zayn was either in love with this boy or obsessed.

He was watching a man from across the room who had been standing in front of _that_ one for about twenty minutes. It had been the painting to get the most attention but Zayn decided that this guy was taking too much interest in it for Zayn’s liking and slinked over to tell him he could either buy it or sod off.

“Can I help you Sir?”

The guy spun around with a surprised jolt and he met Zayn’s eyes with a wide pair of his own. Zayn felt the polite smile he’d been wearing melt down onto the floor as he took Liam in before him. His stomach dropped down beside it. Even in the violently awkward situation he was in, Zayn couldn’t help but drape his gaze over the way Liam’s well-made suit clung to his body. Zayn’s eyes focused on how different Liam looked from when he had seen him almost two months ago and how well groomed and playboyishly sexy he looked now... with his hair and his suit and even his shoes… The transformation from sweatpants and snapback to this was jarring and all he could do was stare. Zayn doubted this could get much worse anyway. Here was this beautiful creature that Zayn had only spent a couple hours with, standing in front of a highly sexualised painting of the two of them together. One that Zayn himself had painted. In fact Liam was standing in a room full of paintings of himself. And Zayn felt like a stalker or a psycho or something, and Liam looked completely overwhelmed.

"I see you uhhh… found something to paint" Liam murmured quietly.

Zayn gulped as he looked up at the painting hanging proudly in front of them both. His brain fumbled around as he tried to find any way out of this devastating hole he was in. He could only manage a quiet “yep”.

“It’s a bit of a shock…” Liam choked out; eyes jerking around the room and Zayn thought he looked a bit like a cornered animal.

“I would- Erm… I would’ve asked you about it… I did feel a little bad-“

“Oh you did?” Liam questioned, a bizarre expression on his face.

“Yeah… I- yes… yep” Zayn stuttered. “I didn’t think you would see them… eight million people in London…” his voice trailed off.

“No. I don’t suppose…

“No”

“This is pretty awkward huh?” Liam gave a tight smile and looked back at the painting on the wall.

“Horrifyingly so…” Zayn agreed. “Not exactly how I pictured this” and he gestured between the two of them. Zayn watched Liam bite his lip and tried not to think about how that lip felt between his own teeth. He doubted any opportunity like that would come again.

"My Dad saw it… He thought it was pretty interesting”. Liam let out a small laugh but his face was lined with anxiety as he looked into Zayn’s eyes.

"Fuck… Liam I'm sorry. I didn't know-"

"Didn't know that my father is a raging homophobe who demanded to know why I didn't tell him I was a fag?" Liam questioned, looking down at his shoes, voice edging toward the slightly hysterical.

"No, I didn't know that." _Shit. Shit. Fuck._ This was worse than Zayn could even have imagined.

"Well…” Liam shrugged heavily “now you do."

"You can’t just tell him I'm a crazy stalker with a ridiculous obsession?"  Zayn tried, throwing his arms up to gesture around them “it wouldn’t be such a big leap to make”. Liam looked back up at him with a slight glimmer in his eye.

"I could try, but he’s pretty sold on the other story…” Liam sighed, still looking up at him, and Zayn was struck with how much he wished the other story could be the true one. “He'll just kick me out again when I drop back out of Uni."

"He kicked you out?"

"Like I said… raging homophobe. Don't worry though; it's probably for the best” Liam muttered “and I’m pretty sure I can stay with a mate so..." he let his sentence trail off and Zayn didn’t think he looked too sure.

“If you needed a place-”

“I don’t think that’s… That’s probably not the best idea” Liam muttered.

“No? Yeah well…” Zayn tried not to feel too disappointed and his thoughts finally fell on something that might be able to pull him out of this mess.

"Look… I just thought I'd let you know that these… They don't mean what you probably think they mean… What I’m saying is that that day was great and that moment we had… it was really nice. But- It’s all just material ok? I just needed something and- and I don't want you to think I'm some psychopath or I’m in love with you… because that’s ridiculous right? I mean I honestly only knew you for a couple of hours and… and really all I want is to be your friend." and it might've been the biggest lie Zayn's ever told. And somehow… somehow he saw it stick.

“Yeah… no, of course… I didn’t think- I… didn’t think you could’ve, I- I get it” Liam stuttered, “You’re right… _ridiculous”._ Then he gave Zayn a smile that looked weird on his face; one that didn’t meet his eyes and Zayn felt inexplicably guiltier then he did before.

“You can have a cut of what I get for it all if you’d like” Zayn offered.

“No... You deserve all of it… These really are brilliant Zayn” he gave Zayn a small smirk “I’m glad you got your mojo back”. The sincerity in Liam’s voice was clear and Zayn realised he may have been needing Liam’s approval all along.

“I’m glad I met you” Zayn replied and he froze as he waited for Liam’s reaction.

“Me too”. Liam said softly. Zayn’s chest tightened as he held Liam’s eye.

“I was being serious before… If- Um… If you _did_ need a place to stay… We have a spare room and… and I could offer you very competitive rent” Zayn smirked up at him. “It would be the least I could do… it _is_ my fault after all”.

“Uhh… Thanks for the offer, but… err- I’m pretty sure I can stay with my mate” Liam muttered.

“Sure. Yeah… sure.” Zayn adopted a fast head nod that was somewhere between understanding and frustration. “Just in case you can’t though…” and he peered up at Liam hopefully “in case it doesn’t work out for you. Can I give you my number? I’d hate for you to be living in a box or something because of me…” he wondered if Liam would go for the thinly disguised attempt to trade numbers.

But Liam said “Okay” and he pulled his phone out and Zayn couldn’t help but feel a little bit better when he saw Liam’s small smile.

 

They were returning their phones to their pockets, matching smiles on their faces when a happy voice broke into Zayn’s consciousness.

“Zayn mate, sorry I’m late; got caught up at the sta-” Harry reached where the two of them were standing and his eyebrows shot into his hairline as he took in Liam’s presence “tion”.

“Uh, Harry, you’ve met Liam right?” Zayn murmured apprehensively.

An almost demonic grin spread across Harry’s cherubic face as he reached out to shake Liam’s hand. “Yes, I believe I did have that pleasure. Nice to see you again Liam, enjoying the gallery?” he questioned with faux innocence.

Harry’s words prompted Liam to glance back up to the piece displayed boldly above them and a blush swept over his face. “Uh... it’s good. Could’ve done with a more interesting subject though probably…”

Zayn watched as Liam’s eyebrows scrunched up and a lump formed in Zayn’s throat as he realised that Liam truly believed that he wasn’t worth this. Zayn wanted to show Liam how interesting he believed him to be. He wanted to take back his earlier words, the ones about him just needing material. He wanted to tell Liam exactly how worthy he was.

“Don’t put yourself down Liam” Harry put in cheerfully, “I’d hang this above my own bed if Zayn would let me” Harry beamed up at the painting. Zayn cringed; he didn’t even know why they were still standing under it. Liam, however, looked at Harry in disbelief before flicking his eyes back up at the painting.

Zayn stared at Liam’s face, needing to know exactly how Liam felt. How he felt about the idea of Zayn and Liam, Liam and Zayn. Zayn _needed_ to know.

“I should go” Liam announced suddenly, “got some stuff to sort out…”

A loud sigh escaped Zayn and he dropped his eyes to his feet. Of course that was how it was.

“See you Harry” Liam began “…goodbye Zayn” Zayn glanced up to see Liam looking uncertainly at him. He managed a murmured reply as Harry cheerfully announced that he hoped to see him again sometime. Liam nodded, cast one more look around the room and walked out.

Zayn’s gaze lingered on the door Liam had just excited before turning back to meet Harry’s contemplative stare.

“Jesus Fucking _Christ_ ” Zayn’s whole body felt suddenly weak and he looked up at his friend for sympathy. “Harry…?”

“Zayyyyn?”

“…Drink?”


	6. Creative Chapter Title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer on Chapter One :)

The air was cool tonight. Something Liam was thankful for as it provided a slight distraction from the buzzing of his mind; a very very _slight_ distraction, but a distraction all the same. He considered ringing Louis or Niall but he had absolutely no idea how to feel and perhaps he ought to think about that before his friends confused him further.

So he was pacing the streets of London at night, which is not a recommended idea for anybody really, sorting through his feelings. Despite the turmoil of his brain, there were a few good things that had come of tonight. For one, he couldn’t hide from himself the fact that he certainly, definitely didn’t not have feelings for ripped jean wearing, tattoo adorned, porn scene painting Zayn Malik.

There were obviously issues that that fact brought to the surface, big ones, but there was something relieving at knowing the truth all the same.

He wanted Zayn, badly.

As soon as his eyes had found that little black name typed out in an inconspicuous font, he’d known. And then, then he had seen _that_ and well, then he had _known._

Liam tightened his suit jacket around himself and as an especially sharp gust of wind blew down the street, he thought about how he would withstand the force of Zayn Malik now. Almost as if the weather was trying to tell him that this was impossible, fat drops of water began to fall, leaving dark spots on a suit that had cost a handsome amount of his father’s money. Of course, he didn’t really care about that now, and he smiled in defiance as the rain grew in persistence.

Standing in the growing rain, savouring his small act of rebellion, Liam’s phone began to sing out from his inside pocket and he found shelter under a nearby shop front to answer it.

“Hey Niall”

_“Hey mate, need rescuing from your shamble of a date yet?”_

“What date?”

_“That stupid thing your Dad arranged with that daughter of the business partner or whatever…”_

Liam had completely forgotten that that was what his night had had in store for him before everything happened. He felt like a different person to the one who had prepared to go out to dinner with his father.

“Ahh… That didn’t end up happening actually Nialler, funny story really.”

 _“You got out of it?”_ Niall asked cheerfully.

“Yeah, something like that. Look, where are you? With Louis?”

_“Yeah I’m with Louis, at that club he’s obsessed with these days. I’m in the loo at the moment. Are you gonna come around?”_

“Yeah, I reckon. I’ll be there in about…” he looked around, peering through the rain, figuring out which street he was on, “15 minutes”

 _“Righty-o. See you soon mate”_ and he was gone. Liam had a feeling, as he trudged through the rain in the direction of the specified club, that things had changed. All he needed to work out now is if this was for better or worse.

 

“LIIIIIIIIIIAAAM!!! Over here!!” Louis had jumped off his stool by the bar as soon as he’d caught sight of Liam’s somewhat dishevelled figure fighting his way through the sweaty crowd. He let out a relieved breath when he finally reached his two best friends and saw the glass of strong smelling spirits Niall was holding out to him.

“I figure you need to play catch up” Niall offered with a grin, and Liam accepted it with no resistance at all. Louis lifted an impressed eyebrow but his expression soon turned curious as he looked over the damp shoulders of his suit jacket and the condition of his hair, which Liam had ran his hand through numerous times since he left the house.

“It seems to me you’ve had an interesting night Payno” Louis shouted over the music “care to share my friend?” Liam held up a finger as he emptied his glass and slammed it onto the bar with relish.

“You could say that Tommo… You could say that” Liam replied mysteriously before reaching into his phone and hovering his thumb over his camera roll where he had stored a photo of _that one_ before Zayn had sneaked up behind him (if someone was allowed to hang it in all of its 50 inch glory then Liam was allowed to keep it on his camera roll). He thought about showing it to Louis and Niall sans context just for shock value but perhaps he better keep it to himself for now. I mean, it _was_ the main piece in a gallery just down town, but Liam thought that maybe he didn’t want everyone to see it… It was him and _Zayn._ It meant something. He put it back in his pocket.

“…Liam?” He looked up to see Louis staring at him with a concerned expression “you alright?”

“Yeah… well, uh. I ran into Zayn tonight. So, as alright as I could be in that scenario” Liam said as nonchalantly as possible and he settled on a stool between Louis and Niall and motioned to the bartender for another drink.

“ _THE Zayn?”_ Niall and Louis said at the same time. Niall had caught onto Liam’s odd behaviour and Louis had gone into a very dramatic re-telling of the story of Liam and _‘Zayn from the Library’._

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’.

“Wow” said Niall in wonderment while Louis said “I hope you didn’t look like that”. Liam frowned and gave his appearance a once over.

“Well, it was _before_ I got caught in the rain” Liam explained.

“Oh good” Louis said with satisfaction. “And how did that go?”

“Badly..? No, not quite. Shockingly? That probably works better. Definitely bizarrely” Louis and Niall exchanged a look as Liam stared into his second drink. “Wonderfully….” He muttered, too low for the volume of the music for any but his own ears. “Oh, also, I need a place to stay. Daddy dearest kicked me out! Fancy that! My _own_ father kicked me out. I didn’t even drop out” he looked up from his glass with a too wide grin to look first at Louis and then at Niall. They were silent, seemingly in shock at Liam’s admission or the manner of its delivery. So Liam continued with his little rant “Of course, Zayn offered me a place… but that would be pretty weird wouldn’t it? It would be weird… considering every time I see him I want to push him against a wall and, well… you know” he trailed off. He listened instead, to the sound of Drake’s voice singing _“I can’t get over you; you’ve left your mark on me. I want your hot love and emotion endlessly”._

“Niall?” Louis questioned suddenly “how strong was that drink?”

“Pretty strong”

“Uh-huh…”

“I’m not drunk” Liam announced suddenly. “I’m overwhelmed. I’ve had a trying night”

“Well tell us about it Payno” Niall claps Liam on the shoulder “‘cause your freaking us out a little”.

“Well, ok.” He nods, toying with a napkin left on the bar and he tries to find a place to start. “Did I tell you Zayn paints?”

-

The studio had cleared out at about 10:30pm and Caroline had scuttled over to where Zayn sat, perched on a stool and clinging to the neck of his wine glass, gushing about how big of a hit Zayn’s collection had been.

“I mean, I knew they’d like them… but they loved them Zayn. That main piece?” she continued excitedly “had _seven_ offers. SEVEN!!” She waggled her eyebrows “It’s payday lover-boy”.

Zayn grinned in spite of himself. He’d been waiting for this day for months and months; he could stop loaning money from Harry, he could actually _buy_ his morning coffee… and yet, now there was something he wanted more.

Liam, however, wouldn’t be around again. Zayn was sure of it. A large lump was still stuck in his throat knowing that he had been in here; knowing that the boy he hadn’t been able to get off his mind for months had been standing in a room full of paintings of himself; knowing that Liam had seen how infatuated Zayn was with him. Zayn had scared him off and he wouldn’t be back. He had seen it written on his face as he had left.

Of course, knowing that he would never get him, didn’t stop Zayn from wanting him more than he ever had.

He quickly excused himself from Caroline, promising to go out celebrating sometime, and headed out into the wet, dark London air: pulling out a cigarette as he went. The rain was cutting under the roof so Zayn hugged the brick wall of the gallery as he maneuvered toward a small bench hidden in a corner. Streetlights illuminated his long fingers as he shielded his cigarette from the wind. Soon its end was glowing red and Zayn had a large breath of smoke filling his lungs satisfyingly. Liam had surprised him. And it wasn’t just in his presence amongst the works that were painted in homage to him: although that was definitely a surprise.

But Zayn had thought, if he was ever going to bump into that boy again, that Liam would be as boy-next-door as he was the first time. Never, in all Zayn’s imaginings did he think that Liam could look like that. Like some high living, charity function attending lady killer. It was too much.

“Zayn, there you are. Hiding are we?”

“Not hiding… Smoking” Zayn replied, smoke wrapping around his words to verify them. Harry nodded with an amused smirk and became silent next to his friend.

They were silent for several minutes, while Zayn smoked his way through a couple cigarettes, before Harry spoke again.

“You know how you said you were painting him to get him out of your system?” he asked, thoughtful expression colouring his face.

“…yeah”

“Is he out of your system?”

Zayn stood still for a long moment before a loud sigh escaped his lips “Not even close… Not even close Harry”.

“Oh babe” Harry let out with a chuckle “Let’s get you home alright?” And he wrapped his long arm around Zayn’s shoulders and led him to where he’d parked his car.

 

“Why don’t we watch a movie yeah?” Harry asked when they got back to their apartment, “help you get your mind off things for a bit”. Zayn loved that Harry knew exactly when he was needed, because Zayn was a mess. A big mess for a boy he wouldn’t ever have and Harry was what he needed; to distract him from that disaster of a situation.

“As long as it _isn’t_ Love, Actually” Zayn replied with a small smile before changing into a holey t-shirt and boxers. It was more likely than not that they’d end up sleeping on the couch.

“Grease?” Harry suggested, voice pleading, “it’s a classic”.

“Uhh… Fiiiiiiine” he relented. Harry could only be expected to be so sympathetic. He stumbled to the couch while he waited for Harryto change, set up the dvd and finally climb up to cuddle into Zayn’s side as the titles began to play. Zayn smiled at Harry’s comforting weight and felt himself drift into sleep before he’d made through a third of the film.

 

Zayn woke up to a loud knock at the door and he shifted so quickly that Harry’s body rolled off of his and onto the floor.

“Owwwiiiieeee Zaaaayyyyn. What was that for??” Harry simpered from the floor rubbing his elbow as Zayn tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes and stagger up from the couch.

“Someone’s at the door”

Just then, to attest to Zayn’s statement, another round of sharp knocks sounded through their front door.

 _“Can’t we just go? I’m sure this isn’t what he meant”_ a frighteningly familiar voice complained from the other side of the door. _“I don’t know about this Louis. It’ll be weird…”_ Zayn stood stock still as he listened to the voice.

 _“Oh shut it you.”_ Another voice whispered accompanied by an additional flurry of knocks. _“This is the only way”._ Zayn crept closer to the door as Harry giggled at him from where he sat on the floor.

 _“He’s not even home. Let’s just go Lou… Please.”_ Liam pleaded again.

And whatever this was, Zayn wasn’t going to let Liam run away again. Not when he’d thought he wouldn’t see him again. And so he threw open the door to see a boyish looking man with his fist raised, ready to knock again. He had messy brown hair and eyes that lit up when he saw that the door had, in fact, been opened. He must be Louis. Liam was standing behind him, wide eyes locked onto Zayn.

“’Lo?” Zayn murmured, voice still rough with sleep.

“Louis Tomlinson” Louis introduced, thrusting his hand toward Zayn who took it cautiously. “You’ve met Liam. Can we come in?” Zayn had barely twitched his head before Louis sang out a ‘great’ and strolled past him into the apartment. _Alright then._

Liam’s gaze was still locked on Zayn and Zayn realised he was still wearing the suit he had worn that night, albeit a little less immaculately than before, it looked like he’d drowned and come back to life. He hadn’t known that could be a good look for anybody until now. He was standing awkwardly, still at the threshold of their apartment and Zayn noted that Liam needed a more express invitation than his bolder friend.

“Liam?” Zayn questioned.

“Yeah?” he looked hopefully up at Zayn.

“Come in yeah?” Liam nodded quickly and gave Zayn a small smile before walking into the room.

“So…” Harry began, still sitting on the floor.

“Were you guys watching Grease?” Louis interrupted, voice full of amazement. His eyes were locked onto the TV where the title menu of Grease was playing over and over again. Harry grinned up at him.

“Yeah, It’s a classic!! Zayn let me choose” Harry explained, looking like a new born foal with his legs crossed on the floor.

“That’s my favourite movie of all time” Louis said, breathless with admiration as he looked upon Harry. Zayn watched the two of them beam at each other for a moment, so it was going to be like _that._

He coughed to get their attention for a moment. “Umm, no offence” Zayn began, “But why the uhh..” he flicked his eyes up to the clock on the wall “2am visit and how is it that you knew where I live..?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys!!!! Feedback would be great as usual :)
> 
> Uh.. there might be a little bit of a wait on the next chapter. I have three major assignments due and I've put them off as usual so... yeah, I should probably do them. 
> 
> Hang in there though because things are about to get interesting :D
> 
> Thanks again :) xx


	7. Sorry This Chapter is Latte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.... sorry about the wait. I should have an excuse but really I just procrastinated everything important but simultaneously felt bad about doing something as constructive as writing a new chapter while I procrastinated..? Something like that. It makes absolutely no sense but there you have it. 
> 
> Enjoy :)
> 
> P.s. disclaimer is on chapter one

“Harry Styles’ address is on the internet” Louis explained helpfully. “That’s you I’m guessing” he nudged Harry with a foot and grinned.

“What do mean ‘you guess’? You didn’t see my gorgeous mug while you were googling my place of dwelling?”

“Yes, well, your hair was a lot tamer on your wiki page” Louis replied quickly with a smirk and Harry immediately took to shaking his hair into place.

Liam interrupted their flirting with a hesitant “I tried to call you a few times Zayn. Your phone must be off, or…” _you were ignoring me_ were the words that Liam had obviously cut off and Zayn was quick to correct him.

“It was on silent for the gallery…” _I wasn’t ignoring you I promise. I would never do that. Do you think I possibly could?_ Were the words Zayn wanted to spill out. It was probably wise to keep them to himself while Liam was willingly in his presence. Even now the word ‘willingly’ was a bit of a stretch, he looked very much like he wanted to leave.

“Oh right” Liam replied.

This awkward conversation had yet to come to its purpose, they still hadn’t told Zayn why they were both standing in his living room in the middle of the night and he was just about to ask again when Harry clambered to his feet.

“I’ll just put the kettle on, shall I?” he chimed with his best, fully fledged, dimple popping smile and Zayn watched Louis’ eyes widen as they followed Harry’s ascent.

“Do you have Yorkshire?”

“Of course” Harry admonished and Louis was beaming again.

-

Why Liam ever listens to Louis’ ideas, he doesn’t know; especially this one. _We’ll just google his address_ he said _why make a phone call when you can show up at his doorstep_ he said. Yeah, brilliant idea. Now the four of them were settled awkwardly around a small kitchen table with a cup of tea sitting in front of each of them. Well, Liam and Zayn were settled awkwardly around the table; Louis and Harry however were on fire. Each small thing Harry did prompted a wider and wider grin on Louis’ face and each time Harry saw it grow Liam watched Harry’s own face brighten in pride.

Zayn met Liam’s eye over the table with a shy smile and he gestured to their friends with a roll of his eyes. Liam grinned back over his steaming mug before he remembered why he was here and the fact that he was yet to grow the balls to ask yet.

“So…” Harry began, returning the conversation to the rest of the table. “What brings you to our humble abode tonight? I don’t think we cleared that one quite up.” Harry’s eyes flickered to Liam’s with an expression that made Liam restless in his seat.

“Uhh..” Liam began “You mentioned having a spare room?”

“I did” Zayn quickly confirmed, eyes bright.

“You did?” Harry asked, confusion passing over his face before it was quickly replaced by a look of sheer glee.

“He did” Louis agreed, not to be forgotten, “and as unfortunate as it is, the couch dear Liam had planned on making his home was unavailable” he finished mysteriously.

“…Right, so-”

“I just hoped” Liam interrupted, before Harry could unease him further, “that that was still an option…”

“You living here?” Zayn finished looking incredulous. An uncertainty flooded through Liam’s body. Of course Zayn had just been polite. It was a ridiculous idea in the first place. He still didn’t know why he listened to Louis _if you dig him so much why don’t you take his offer_ he said _that way you can ogle him all day long_ he said. Great plan Louis, thanks for that. Now he looked like a prat who couldn’t recognise an offer based purely off of pity and guilt.

“Well.. Umm.. It’s not exactly necessary-”

“No!” Zayn interjected “I mean yes. Yes, it’s still an option. Of course it’s still an option.”

Liam found Zayn looking at him with such an earnest expression that Liam’s earlier qualms evaporated entirely. Seeing Zayn there, before him, wearing boxers and a tee, hair ruffled from sleep and a smile that looked like it was made just for him gave Liam a thrill of absolute certainty. If he hadn’t been sure of his fascination in Zayn before, he was certainly sure now. He was addicted.

“Oh, good” he replied lamely.

-

Louis had disappeared after he received a call from Niall telling him his food wouldn’t be there if he was any later to meet him at McDonalds. Louis didn’t leave without slipping a piece of paper into Harry’s hand, however. He’d given several cheerful farewells before leaving Liam perched, unsure, in the middle of Zayn and Harry’s couch. The silence Louis had helpfully filled was now given full lease of life.

“Well, I’m off to bed” Harry announced after a few long moments. “Good to see you again Liam, Zayn will sort you out” he retreated down the hall with a bright smile and a piece of paper clutched tightly in his fist.

Liam waited until he heard a door shut before looking up at Zayn with a timid expression “I can get all my stuff tomorrow… I- uh- Sorry about this” he murmured.

“Don’t be sorry” Zayn whispered, a bit lower than he had intended. “I’m not. I mean… I’m happy to help you out”.

“Ok” Liam agreed with a grin which Zayn met easily.

 

Zayn soon had the ‘spare’ room cleared out of all his paint supplies and the window thrown open to try and get rid of the fumey paint smell, that Zayn personally enjoyed but would probably give Liam a headache if he was forced to suffer it all night, while Liam stood in his damp suit looking out of place and out of purpose.

“Well, there is a room. Could do with some… furniture” Zayn admitted and Liam burst into laughter as they looked around the completely bare room.

“Oh I don’t know” Liam disagreed “The carpet is lovely… and it has curtains. That’s the main thing” Zayn barked out a laugh and they settled into a soft giggle together.

“The couch is deceptively comfortable though. And we can sort you out tomorrow for a bed”

“Yeah, ok. Sound.”

 

Zayn hadn’t thought it through when he asked Liam “do you want something to wear?” He hadn’t thought it through at all. Now he had Liam standing in _his_ bedroom wearing _his_ sweatpants, which were a little on the tight side, as Zayn rummaged through his draws looking for something that would fit across Liam’s chest which just so happened to be on full display. As Zayn struggled to focus on the task at hand Liam wandered around his room, picking things up and putting them back down, humming an indecipherable tune under his breath.

Zayn snuck a glance over his shoulder as Liam admired the Avengers poster he had on the back of his door. The stretch of Liam’s back was a sight that brought out a small noise from the back of his throat and all Zayn could think of was what it would be like to be able to cling to that back as Liam pounded into him. _Goddammit, if he could only find a fucking shirt!!_

“I don’t think any of these will fucking fit” Zayn despaired.

Liam turned with his eyebrows slightly raised “that’s ok, I’ll be alright Zayn” he said, trying to _assure_ him, Zayn supposed. Oh the irony.

“Ok mate, good” Zayn said, just this side of sounding like a strangled cat, “I’ll just grab you a duvet… pillows n’ stuff” and he escaped the room. Liam followed close behind and Zayn felt the need to hold his breath to keep the things on his mind unsaid; clench his fists to keep the things he wanted to do undone.

He yanked the cupboard door open and almost ripped the spare duvet as he pulled it, and a couple of pillows, out.

The lounge was pretty small and had both the dining area and kitchen attached to it. There was the one couch, a pair of armchairs that only Zayn used, a coffee table with a couple large, worn out books and then the tv surrounded by towers of DVDs and CDs. It was a small apartment in general but he and Harry liked it. Liked the homely crowded-in way it had. It would be extra cosy now that Liam was here. Zayn frowned at that thought.

“Night mate” he forced out after giving the bedding to Liam and ushering him toward the couch. Liam glanced up at him and Zayn tried to school his face into something neutral, hoping that Liam wouldn’t notice the problem that was growing in his boxers. “Goodnight Zayn” he replied softly “thanks a lot for this” and his face looked so grateful, so soft that Zayn had to stop himself from stroking a hand down the side of his stupidly attractive, beautifully puckered face. Instead he gave a frantic nod and forced a smile before leaving Liam as quickly as was politely possible.

He was not two steps into his room before he had a lip between his teeth and a hand wrapped around his dick. He squeezed lightly, alleviating a bit of the pressure before finding his lube and coating his prick. He leant back against the door and let out a quiet moan as his fist flew desperately and his thoughts landed on the image of Liam’s bare back: the way it was so ridiculously defined and looked so fucking touchable, the way it narrowed so gloriously at the waist. He wanted to make finger shaped bruises into that smooth expanse, wanted to bite into his broad shoulders; taste his soaked with sweat skin. He imagined how glorious Liam would look in that situation: shiny from the brutal act of fucking Zayn into the mattress. He’d be able to do it so good. Zayn could imagine it all too clearly; the way his muscles would ripple, how his hips would snap into him with abandon. _God,_ Zayn wanted it so badly. He just wanted to be fucked into oblivion by that boy. Was that so much to ask?

Zayn turned so his forehead rested heavily on the poster Liam had been so enamoured by and fucked into his fist the way he wanted Liam to fuck into him… The way he’d very much like to fuck into Liam. He squeezed his eyes shut as his breath came faster and he felt that familiar delectable warmth spread through his body. He came over his fingers with a low groan and he coaxed himself through his orgasm.

A minute passed as his breath slowed and he began to return to reality. That reality was the one where he had to share his apartment with Liam while wanting to touch him every second. But Zayn couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let himself be that guy. The one who preyed on the fact that Liam just needed a place to stay: a place that isn’t made difficult by feelings and fantasies. He already had to make up for the potent stalkerness of filling an art gallery with his image… He couldn’t make this harder for Liam than it already was.

He just needed to reel it all in a bit.

He could do that.

_“Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let him know”_ he whispered before barking out a demented laugh and falling face forward onto his bed, a dirtied tissue in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter definitely wont take as long and it's going to get kinda interesting now. Thanks for your patience aha :).
> 
> Please comment (or dare I say critique) if you will.
> 
> Also, I'm mrpayneisbatman on tumblr if you wanted to chat or something..


	8. Payne Enterprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I'd post this in a few days but I'm delaying doing my 2000 word ethics essay so...  
> Also, this chapter is a bit of a filler but I hope you like it anyway.
> 
> P.s. disclaimer on chapter one.

Liam woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs wafting over his face and the buzzing of his phone vibrating near his face. He’d fallen asleep staring at the latest addition to his camera roll, tapping it every now and then when the backlight dimmed. He opened his eyes to see his phone right there with several notifications lighting up the screen. He was surprisingly comfortable on the couch and he wormed down into the cover a bit as he scrolled through the enquiries he’d gotten from Louis about how good of a lay Zayn was. “Sod off” he grumbled at the screen.

“Sorry, you talking to me?” a cheerful and soothing voice drifted towards him from the direction of the bacon and egg smell. Liam quickly sat up rubbing his eyes and observed the figure of Harry standing over the stove.

“No. Just complaining about Louis blowing up my phone” Liam murmured and he lifted himself off the couch.

“Ahhh. He’s a good lad isn’t he?” Harry hummed happily.

“Yeah, sure.” Liam mused but Harry turned around with a frown.

“Well you don’t _sound_ very sure Liam. This is important information that you must divulge to me at once.”

Liam’s taken back a bit by Harry’s serious expression but it cracks into a large grin before he has to respond to it.

“I’m just playing Liam. Do you want some breakfast? Zayn won’t be up for a while.” And he watched Harry pull out some plates.

That last part turned out to be wrong as Zayn staggered in only minutes after Liam had sat down with his plate of eggs. He looked a bit tired but he smiled at Liam as he walked in.

“Mmm thanks Harry, you’re the best” he rasped and Liam watched as Zayn placed an exaggerated kiss on Harry’s cheek before helping himself to what was remaining in the frying pan. Harry had eaten his on the run and was soon giving the two of them farewells like an overeager parent.

“Now I figure you want to get your stuff Liam so I’ve left the keys for my car for you two to use. I’ve rung a taxi” he paused and checked his watch “it should be here in a bit, I better go down. Have a fun day kiddies… enjoy your breakfast” he chimed and he even went as far as to kiss them both on the top of the head before prancing out the door.

“He takes a bit of getting used to” Zayn laughed as he sat down opposite Liam with his plate of food.

“Yeah” Liam chuckled “I can see how that could be. He needs children to pack lunches for and wipe peanut butter off their mouths”

“God yeah, can you imagine that?” he scoffed and Liam thought he saw his eyes briefly settle on his, still, bare chest. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, you were right: deceptively comfortable.” Zayn smiled at him at that, nodding in agreement. “Sorry again, for the way I showed up last night” Liam emphasized.

“Don’t worry about it mate. No need to apologise, if any apologies need to be made they’re mine”

“What? You mean with my father?” Liam asked and Zayn made an and-all-the-rest-of-it sort of gesture. “I’m surprisingly ok with everything actually. Things with Dad have been bad for a while; I’m kind of pleased to get away from it actually” Liam finished with a smile. Zayn made a little chuckle.

“Anytime mate. I should open a business: ‘Need to get rid of your father? Have me let him think you like it up the ass’” he said it lightly, but Liam felt his mouth drop open a little at the spiel. Zayn glanced up and had the sense to look a bit awkward. “Sorry” he muttered.

“You’re a bit of a surprise Mr Zayn Malik” Liam snickered.

“Is that a good thing?” he asked.

“Yeah. I reckon so…” Liam nodded.

“Well I could say the same thing about you Mr Jock-by-day-Bruce-Wayne-by-night” he returned. Liam was about to rebuke the ‘jock’ comment but was taken aback by the second part.

“I’ll get to the jock comment later, but did you just say Bruce Wayne?” he asked, incredulous.

“Yep. Well, you’ve got the designer suit, the Rolex and the hair as well. Kind of Beckam-ish too, if you prefer that comparison” Zayn replied easily.

“Well I’m going to go ahead and take both actually” Liam replied with a snort. “No matter how un-warranted they are. It’s kind of funny you say Bruce Wayne is all,” he felt a blush creep up his face a bit “I’ve sort of wanted to be Batman since I was eleven.”

“Still?” Zayn asked with a laugh.

“Oh, definitely” Liam confirmed emphatically and they both laughed at that.

“You say eleven… what did you want to be before that?”

“Fireman”

“Ahhh… So you’ve got a hero complex” Zayn deduced.

“I suppose. I liked the idea of saving someone... So it was fireman, and then my mum died in a car accident and I decided that being a fireman wasn’t enough… Batman it was.” He felt a little bad for weighing their conversation down like that, but when he looked up Zayn was looking at him with such a captivated expression that he couldn’t make himself regret it at all. “Sorry” he said anyway, “it’s a bit early for that sort of shit yeah?”

“Jesus, Liam… You’re really something mate” he said. And there it was again… the ‘mate’. Liam put it behind him and simply smiled at Zayn’s proclamation.

“Do you wanna go take a look at Payne Enterprises then?” he asked with a grin.

“Payne? Your last name is Payne?” Zayn asked, eyebrow arching into his hairline.

“Yep” he confirmed, popping the word.

“Of course it is” Zayn said with a snigger. “Yeah, let’s go take a look, Mr Liam Payne of Payne Enterprises” and he huffed out another laugh, shaking his head.

-

“This is your house?” Zayn asked in disbelief as he rolled into the driveway Liam had pointed out and parked in front of the ostentatious, three-storied building.

“ _Was_ my house” Liam corrected as he let himself out of the car. Zayn followed suit while still looking a little overwhelmed.

“It’s bloody huge” Zayn continued “I’m afraid you’ve downgraded mate.”

“Na. This place is cold… and lonely. I like your place better” Liam insisted and Zayn quirked his head but remained silent. “Dad’s at work, Gwen might be there but she won’t give us any trouble.”

“Who’s Gwen?” Zayn asked immediately.

“Housekeeper, cook, second mother” Liam responded fondly, smiling for the first time since arriving in front of his father’s house. “C’mon then” he shot back at Zayn as he unlocked the front door and strode over the threshold.

The whole place was much more than any of them had ever needed: the best and many of everything. Liam believes that his dad went a bit mad after their mother died; bought this place as well as anything else he could get his hands to help fill the void. It didn’t help anything though, just became a place completely removed from the memories of her. It had been just him and his dad for a while; his older sisters had left as soon as they’d had the opportunity. Liam wondered idly how his father would cope with a completely empty house but then decided that if he didn’t cope, he’d brought it on himself. He wasn’t in the mood to be sympathetic.

“Up we go” he called back to Zayn as he began to climb the well-polished, main staircase. Zayn was looking around curiously, taking in every overdone feature of the house with round eyes. When they finally got to the top of the stairs, Liam flung open a pair of double doors with a dramatic flair “This is my room.”

 

Zayn whistled low as he walked in. Liam stared at Zayn as he stood in the middle of the room. It was weird to see him in a place so familiar to him. If he was being 100% honest with himself he’d pictured Zayn standing in that exact spot. Only, in his imaginings, Zayn had looked a bit more determined. He quickly shook that train of thought out of his head and followed Zayn into the heart of the over-sized room.

“You’ve definitely downgraded” Zayn reaffirms with a jerky nod and Liam lets out a laugh.

“I’m just gonna change” Liam says before moving into his walk-in closet and throwing off the shirt he was wearing yesterday. He left the door of his closet slightly open, not because he wanted Zayn to feel uncomfortable, but because he… well, he was just quite comfortable with his body was all.

If Zayn was watching him as he slipped off the too tight sweatpants he’d borrowed, Liam couldn’t tell. But he lingered in his Calvin Klein’s a little longer than completely necessary before finding a pair of jeans, a tank-top and his favourite hoodie to slip on.

It only took twenty minutes to get everything that he owned together. Louis was still storing his surfboard because Liam was worried for its safety after he’d returned from Australia to a fuming father. Apart from that, a box of comics stored away under his bed and a picture of him with his mum, he didn’t really have anything of value. Well, nothing of emotional value anyway.

“Alrighty then,” Liam said as they put his belongings in the backseat “now what about the bed problem?”

 

“This is a bad idea” Liam repeated.

“It was _your_ idea. And I think it’s a great idea” Zayn huffed as he dragged Liam’s king size mattress off the base. “You don’t need the base do you? I don’t think Harry’s car could take the base”

“No, I don’t need the base… but I was kidding-“

“Shush. This is good. If this _‘inconveniences your father’”_ Zayn repeated Liam’s earlier words “then bloody good: He. Deserves. To be. Inconvenienced.” He spat out between tugs on the heavy mattress.

“Are you gonna help me?” Zayn finally asked. To be honest, Liam was enjoying watching Zayn sweat over the task, but he nods and quickly takes that other side and begins to pull. They only pause when they get to the top of the staircase.

“Now what?” Liam asked.

“Well, now we push and hope it doesn’t gain too much momentum on the way down” Zayn replied, “unless you want it to do damage at the bottom of course”.

“This is crazy”

“Hardly”

“You’re a little crazy I think”

“Maybe” he laughed, and with that he gave a push and sent the mattress skidding down the stairs. They both stared at each other as they heard the thump thump thump as it sped down and finally a loud bang as it reached the bottom. Zayn gave a sly smile, “if it broke anything you can blame me.”

“I can blame you for a lot of things it seems” Liam joked.

“I suppose you can” Zayn smirked and he started down the stairs. “Do you want to blame me for stealing that Rolex that I saw on the kitchen bench too?”

Liam laughed and joined him as he walked down. “Better not. He’d probably start a man hunt.”

“Liam? Is that you?” a female voice called out.

“Gwen?” Liam asked as he hurried down the stairs. She stood next to the mattress which had knocked over one of the fancy lamps his father liked, but she had a wide smile on her face.

“My boy!” she exclaimed as she embraced him in a tight hug. “What’s all this about then?”

“Dad kicked me out. I’m sure you heard about it.”

“I heard some ridiculous tale but I don’t believe a word of- Well… who’s this then?” Liam turned and realised Zayn had reached them, with a curious expression on his face.

“Oh, this is Zayn” he grinned as he turned back to the woman who had more or less raised him. Her eyebrows were in her hairline but she grinned as she appraised Zayn.

“Goodness. I didn’t believe it but… I don’t blame you Liam” she laughed before stretching out her hand to Zayn. “It’s very nice to meet you Zayn. You better be good to my boy now; practically my son you know.”

“Uhh… Nice to meet you too but we’re not really-“

“Oh, shush. You don’t have to explain it to me” she quickly silenced him. Liam laughed as he watched Zayn’s face who quickly met his eye with a lost look.

“Tell Dad sorry for the lamp” Liam quickly interrupted. “Also, do we have any rope do you know?”

 

It was kind of ridiculous watching Zayn climbing on to the mattress which was sitting on the roof of Harry’s Volvo. He was wearing his leather jacket again today along with one of the many pairs of jeans Liam was sure he had but the situation he was in made Liam want to laugh.

“Just roll the windows down Liam and we can thread the rope through the car” Zayn instructed.

“Yes boss” Liam replied with a salute and he rolled down the windows. He threw the rope up to Zayn then, and they began to secure the mattress.

“You’re lucky it’s not raining today” Zayn laughed. “Don’t know what we would’ve done then.”

“I’m not looking forward to getting it to yours. How many levels up are you?”

“Four… but I think it could definitely possibly fit in the elevator”

“This is ridiculous. We’re going to look ridiculous. Can we even see out the windshield?”

Zayn laughed, making Liam laugh in response, and navigated his way back to solid ground, his t-shirt lifting a bit to show a heart tattooed to his hip as well as a large gun which stuck out of the waist of his jeans. Liam quickly looked away with a blush, walking up to the passenger door. Zayn slipped into the driver’s seat beside him and he tried to forget the images that had conjured in his head.

The top of the mattress was hanging slightly over the windshield but it didn’t really do much to their ability to see. Liam couldn’t hold back a grin as he looked over to Zayn who was checking the tightness of the rope wrapped through the car.

“I don’t think this was what Harry had in mind when he let us borrow his car” Zayn stated.

Liam laughed in agreement “Too true… He’s a solid lad though. I think Louis likes him a lot.”

“Harry tends to have that effect on people” Zayn chuckled.

“I can imagine that. Louis didn’t even look _that_ impressed when he saw you for the first time.” Zayn blinked blankly up at him. “You don’t remember? It was in the library that day… He gave you a good once over. I was going to get your number for him” Liam chuckled, “funny how things change.”

Zayn looks a bit taken aback and quickly turns to face out the front. “Let’s not talk about that day” is all he says and Liam stares at Zayn’s carefully composed face.

“I’m sorry about what I did” Liam says softly, thinking about how Zayn had looked when he’d abandoned him in that pub, and he watches Zayn frown slightly and start the car.

“It’s alright” Zayn says with finality. “These things happen… I get it.”

Liam watches Zayn as he begins the drive back to the flat and it’s his turn to frown. He doesn’t think Zayn got it at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it :). Comments are welcome as always.
> 
> I should be able to get the next chapter up sometime next week.


	9. No Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terribly sorry about the lateness. I'm kind of an awful person but please forgive me. Enjoy. :)

It hadn’t fit in the elevator… Well, it _shouldn’t_ have fit in the elevator but Zayn was insistent that he wasn’t going to push it up four flights of stairs. They’d ended up having the doors shut on it about twenty times and forced an annoyed woman to use the stairs. By the time they’d squished it into the small lift, and squished themselves in with it, they were covered in sweat and laughing like maniacs.

When it was finally placed on the floor of Liam’s room they’d both fallen on to it in exhaustion.

“Thanks mate” Liam had said.

“No worries mate” Zayn had replied in kind.

They had lain there in comfortable silence for a long moment, catching their breath, and it had been in that simple moment that the precedent of _Liam and Zayn_ had been set: a simple, comfortable, unwavering friendship sprung from surprises and complications…

If it was anything other than simple below the surface… well, nobody had to know.

-

Zayn had no doubt in his mind that he’d pulled off the most trying deception in the world. He had done everything in his power to become nothing more than flat mate and good friend to one Liam James Payne. Living with him and knowing him had made it both easier and harder to keep it all under wraps.

Easier because falling into a friendship with Liam was one of the simplest things he’d ever done. Liam was one of those people who are just plain good and it was impossible not to want him to be happy all the time. Easier because Liam got Zayn in ways often even Harry didn’t understand. Easier because doing nothing with Liam could often be the highlight of his day… Simply because they shared the sort of understanding with each other which meant that sitting in silence with him was more important than a lengthy conversation with anybody else. Easier because his friendship with Liam was fast becoming one of the most important things in Zayn’s life and risking it would be the stupidest thing he could ever imagine doing.

And it was harder because there’d been nothing to stop him falling in love.

There was no denying it, not now. Not when he’d experienced Liam to the absolute maximum any person could while staying despairingly platonic. He’d seen him much too early in the morning, bright eyed and covered in sweat from his run. He’d seen him relaxed and completely content by his side as they watched The First Avenger over again. He’d seen him adorably giggly, cuddly and clingy after too many drinks. He’d seen Liam marvel at his art and he’d felt that pride he only ever felt when it was a compliment from Liam with those too sincere eyes. He’d seen him panting out an even rhythm over his daily set of sit-ups and push-ups. He’d seen him blush when he’d got mustard on the collar of his shirt. He’d seen the little pucker between his eyebrows when he was concentrating. He’d seen the open joy on his face whenever Zayn suggested doing anything together, even if it was just a trip to get more paint supplies.

To say Zayn fell hard would be an understatement. That was why it was a ridiculous concept that he’d managed to keep it from Liam all this time, not to mention that he had started on a backwards foot. It was an impossible situation really because every day Zayn fell a bit more and every day he had a little bit more to lose if Liam caught on.

-

“Zayn. Zayniiieee… Zayyyyyynn” Liam sung from where he was poking his head through Zayn’s bedroom door.

“mmmpph whadyawant?”

Liam took that as an invitation and crept toward where Zayn’s sleepy form was buried under his blankets. “It’s almost noon. We were going to the market today” he whispered as he grabbed Zayn’s ankle through the duvet and gave it a yank. “C’mon sleepy mouse, up you get.”

Zayn peered up at Liam’s soft smile and prepared himself to leave the warmth of his bed. “mmmkay gimme two seconds” Zayn pleaded.

“One. Two. Now up” Zayn grumbled at that but finally dragged himself out of his bed.

“You’re bossy” Zayn complained.

“I made you brunch” Liam offered, a cheeky smile decorating his face.

“Hmmm, you’re forgiven” Zayn decided quickly, reaching up to plant a kiss on the side of Liam’s head. Liam made a noise of contentment before herding Zayn out the door and toward the kitchen.

A plate of chocolate-chip pancakes sat on the table next to a large, steaming mug of coffee and Zayn was struck again at how unfairly lovely Liam was. Zayn sank gratefully into his chair, sending Liam a wide grin (the one only Liam seemed to be able to pull from him) as the chocolate-chip-pancake-making-wizard in question took a seat across from him and sipped happily from a cup of tea.

-

The market was teeming with people as usual but it was nice. Everyone seemed to commit to a slow tempo; browsing the entire place quietly instead of bustling about and causing a fuss in their hurry to get to work. The people commanding each stall smiled and had a tangible pride over whatever it was they were selling, be it hand-crafted jewellery or oranges. Liam loved it, Zayn knew.

“I want to go to the soap stall” Liam insisted as Zayn frowned at the bins of exotic looking fruit.

“Then go to the soap stall” Zayn replied, amused.

“Come with me”

“No, I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of browsing that damn soap stall”

“But they smell so good Zaynie” Liam pleaded and Zayn looked up to see his bottom lip sticking out right on cue.

“Don’t trip over that” Zayn said, pointing and Liam’s nose scrunched up adorably in response.

“You’re smelling every one that I buy” he said seriously before skipping off toward his beloved soaps leaving Zayn shaking his head in disbelief.

 

He was still figuring out how you’d go about eating a persimmon when a voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Are you going to get one of those or just stare at them a little while longer?”

The voice belonged to pretty girl with masses of curls and she quickly reached into the bin to fill a bag of them for herself. “They’re pretty good” she continued, “better than they look.”

Zayn was a bit taken aback but he gave the girl a small smile. “Uh, maybe” he replied with a shrug.

Her smile only fell a fraction, “still not convinced?” she questioned.

“Not really” he said.

“You’ll never know until you give them a try-“

“Zayn! Smell it! Doesn’t it smell so chocolatey Zayn? Don’t you just want to eat it?” Zayn spun around to see Liam offering him a piece of soap in two hands like a most-prized possession and he grinned.

“Liam?” the persimmon girl questioned and she appeared from behind Zayn’s back. Liam’s reaction was palpable; his grip on the soap turned his knuckles white and his excited smile fell straight off his face.

“Danielle?” he asked, his voice a pinch higher than usual.

“Liam… Wow, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages” she said.

“Uh, I’m okay.” He answered, hand jumping up to scratch at the back of his neck. Zayn would have to be blind and deaf to not sense Liam’s discomfort and then he’d probably taste it on the air.

“Oh good. That’s good. Who’s your friend?” she asked, returning her gaze to Zayn. Liam seemed to suddenly realise Zayn was still there and his eyes locked hard onto him. Zayn watched him stare for a moment before he exhaled softly and Zayn tingled a little bit with the notion that his presence had given Liam some sort of comfort.

“This is my Zayn. Uh- my friend, Zayn. Zayn this is Danielle, my… ex-girlfriend” he said. Zayn nodded, having figured that that had probably been the case. He looked over Danielle once again anyway and saw her face fall a bit at the label Liam had given her.

“We’re friends too though, right Li?” Danielle asked, her voice a practised amount of innocence and allure. Zayn frowned as he saw Liam’s face contort at her question.

“Uh, yeah. Of course…” he muttered, looking at the soap in his hands.

“Good. I’m glad” she said, resting a perfect hand on his arm. His hands stopped their fidgeting at once.

“Dani, I was looking for you” a rough voice interrupted them and Zayn looked up as a man appeared at Danielle’s shoulder.

If Liam had been uncomfortable before, now he looked as though he was in physical pain. Zayn grimaced alongside him as he saw how appalled Liam was about the situation.

“Oh, Chase. Hey babe… You remember Liam right?” Danielle stepped backwards and motioned toward the boy who now looked as though he’d found out his grandmother was in a motorcycle gang.

“Oh, yeah. Hey Liam, mate, it’s nice to see you again. Been well?” Chase asked, sounding surprisingly more genuine than Danielle. He even extended a hand in Liam’s direction which Liam was blanching at.

“Uh, yeah..” Liam grasped his hand lightly before quickly dropping it again, “thanks, I’ve been good.”

“Well that’s good bro. I’m glad you’re coping” Chase returned.

At this, Liam shot Zayn a look of utter desperation and Zayn took the hint.

“Uh Liam?” he began.

“ _Zayn_ ” he breathed out with nothing other than relief.

“I’ve got that appointment in...” he faux checked his phone “just over ten minutes.”

“Oh right. Sorry guys we’re going to have to cut this short”

“Oh no” Danielle pouted and Liam and Zayn both pretended to look regretful as they started to move away. “Liam… wait” Danielle ordered and she was soon wrapping Liam in a hug. “Don’t be a stranger okay?” and Liam mumbled something noncommittal before Zayn tugged him away by the hand.

 

Zayn was still holding Liam’s hand firmly within his by the time Liam decided to stop walking.

“I’m okay” Liam said, tugging his hand out of Zayn’s.

“Okay” Zayn replied carefully, turning toward him.

“It’s just” Liam huffed, “I feel… ridiculous.”

“Okay” Zayn repeated, rubbing his hand up Liam’s arm in comfort. “Keep going… I’m listening.”

“We dated for close to two years and I thought we were great you know?” he sighed softly. “She was so beautiful and bright and I thought she was this perfect person… that I was so lucky to be the one she wanted.”

Zayn’s chest clenched at Liam’s words… Not because there was a person Liam had once felt that way about but because she had had Liam, the one thing Zayn wanted most, and she had obviously gone and abused that beautiful privilege. Zayn hated her on principle.

Liam gave a shaky breath before continuing. “When I found out she was sleeping with somebody else I was heartbroken. She told me she’d been going around with him for eight months. Eight months and I still forgave her. I think that had blindsided her… my forgiveness. I worked out later that she’d counted on me never wanting to see her again. I mean, that’s what any person would do in that situation, but I was just so pathetically bound to her that I couldn’t let go. The betrayal had nothing on how pathetic I felt when she dumped me for him a few weeks later. I haven’t thought about her for a while but to have her act like that… to have _them_ act like they haven’t done anything. And I just let them.”

“Liam…” Zayn choked out. He had steadily gotten angrier and angrier as Liam talked but he was mainly overcome by his desire to show Liam how much love he had for him. Even if it was for no other purpose than for Liam to look at it and know that it was there.

Liam looked up at him like a lost child and Zayn wrapped him in his arms. “Can I go back and slash their tyres?” he asked quietly into Liam’s shoulder. He was rewarded with a breathy laugh and the tightening of Liam’s arms around him. “I’ll do it if you want. It wouldn’t be any trouble babe.”

“Better leave it… She might misconstrue it and think I still care about her” he replied sagely.

“Mmm, smart. You’re smart Leeyumm. And wonderful, and strong, and good-looking and not at all pathetic and that girl is stupid because she’s obviously downgraded.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to keep getting pancakes in the morning” Liam joked softly but Zayn didn’t miss the vulnerability in it. He moved back enough to look Liam in the eyes, placing his hands at each side of his face for extra impact and hoped this wouldn’t backfire.

“Although your pancakes _are_ extraordinary...” he admitted, “I’m saying it because you’re the greatest person I know and every day I’m amazed by the things that you do and I’d hate for you to believe that you were any less than perfect just because somebody didn’t realise that letting you go is the stupidest decision anyone could ever make, period.” His gaze hadn’t wavered from Liam’s while he was talking and now he watched as a look of wonder took over his face. “Okay?” Zayn questioned, thumb slowly stroking his cheek.

“Yes, okay” he breathed and grinned Zayn’s favourite eye-crinkling grin.

“Good” he returned, taking a small step back and a breath of air with it. He looked down at the prized soap that was still clutched in Liam’s hand and brought it to his nose. It was a chocolaty heaven just like Liam had said “Mmm- uh god that smells fantastic Li… You’re gonna smell fucking delicious”.

Liam chuckled at that, “Try not to eat me” he teased.

“No promises.”


	10. Sexxx With Three 'x's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's updated their fic after 1000 years?? I don't even have an excuse.... I'm basically just a terrible terrible person. I'm really going to try and have this whole thing finished by the end of the month so I'm quite hopeful that I'm not going to be such a lazy asshole anymore. I will have this done before I die - I will promise you that at least. 
> 
> Ok, enjoy.

“ _Zayn” he heard Liam call. He surveyed the painting in front of him once more; it seemed bigger than he remembered and twice as bold on the clean white wall. He turned slowly to see Liam pacing slowly toward him. Apart from him the room was empty._

“ _Liam? What are you doing here?” he asked, confused._

“ _The building’s on fire Zayn… I’m here to put it out” he replied easily. “What are_ you _doing here? It’s late you know.”_

_Zayn looked Liam over again and only now realised that he was in fact wearing fire-fighter get up and pulled a heavy looking hose along with him. Although… Zayn was quite sure Liam should’ve been wearing a shirt. Instead, Liam had only suspenders pulled over his bare shoulders and chest. He looked more like the stripper version actually and a bit too oiled up to be natural but Zayn wasn’t complaining – Liam looked sexy as fuck._

“ _Zayn?” Liam prompted and Zayn remembered he’d been asked a question._

“ _I needed to fix the painting” Zayn replied, turning reluctantly back to the canvas._

“ _What’s wrong with it babe?” Liam questioned voice suddenly much closer than expected._

“ _Your lips… They aren’t full enough” he answered and his breath stuttered as he felt the heat of Liam’s body against his back. “I need to fix them. The real ones show this pair up” Zayn concluded._

“ _Do you like my lips Zayn?” Liam dragged out slowly, voice tinged with lust. Zayn could feel his breath hot against his ear and his heart was beating a violent rhythm in his chest._

“ _You know I love them” Zayn whispered, surprised at the easy admission. “I love everything about you… Your mouth… Your shoulders… Your arms…” he felt relieved that he was finally getting everything off his chest. “Your whole body…” he continued, “I love it”._

_He noticed then that Liam’s strong hands had started moving over his body, under his shirt, and he suddenly felt Liam’s lips against the shell of his ear._

“ _Am I sexy Zayn?” he breathed slowly…hotly into his ear._

_Zayn was stunned into silence but Liam wasn’t having that and Zayn was pulled around and backed against the wall. “Tell me Zayn. Am I sexy?” he demanded, determined eyes now burning into his own._

“ _Yes” Zayn replied quickly._

“ _Do you want me Zayn?” Liam asked._

“ _Yes. God yes Liam…” Zayn breathed heavily. He was riled up now and he squirmed against Liam’s steady weight. Liam moaned softly in reply and Zayn felt his hand pressing against his hardening length._

_Zayn’s groaned in appreciation as Liam’s hand provided the contact Zayn ached for. Zayn’s own hands dragged over Liam’s back, his fingers coming across the suspenders and Zayn frowned. “Liam?”_

“ _Zayn?”_

“ _What about the fire?” Zayn asked quickly, wanting to get around the building-being-on-fire issue so he could focus on what Liam’s hands, and now his mouth, were doing to him. "Isn't the building on fire?"_

“ _There is no fire Zayn…” Liam laughed, “I’m a stripper silly”._

“ _Oh” Zayn replied, dazed. That did make more sense he decided._

_He returned his focus to the fact that Liam’s half naked body was right there and quickly pressed his mouth against the hot skin of Liam’s neck._

“ _I want to touch you Zayn” Liam whispered “I always want to touch you so bad.”_

“ _Touch me then” Zayn replied quickly. “Please… Please touch me Liam” he begged. He quickly got what he wanted as he felt Liam’s fingers wrap around him, setting a fierce pace that sent a burning heat spreading through Zayn’s body._

“ _You’re so good Liam… Wanted this for so long… Don’t stop”_

“’ _M not stopping… I’ve got you Zayn…” Liam’s voice sent shivers through his body and he felt the familiar tightening of his body._

“ _Gonna come Liam…” he groaned. God Liam was good at this._

“ _Come for me Zayn” Liam demanded roughly. “Wanna watch you come apart ‘cause of me… Will you Zayn? Will you come for me?”_

 

The force of Zayn’s release shook through his entire body, shaking him out of his slumber. He groaned in dismay, disappointment washing over him. Just a dream. Just a _really_ good dream. A _fucking_ good dream. Ignoring the resulting wetness in his boxers, Zayn rolled over and blinked his eyes open slowly, the effects of his orgasm still upon him.

“Quite finished?” a voice asked and Zayn shot into a sitting position in a panic. His eyes landed on Harry sitting cross-legged at the end of his bed smirking like a Cheshire cat.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” he yelled at his smug friend, clutching his chest as his heartbeat slowed down. “Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?! Jesus Christ!”

His words did nothing to Harry’s spirits. In fact, his smile may’ve grown. “Pleasant dream?” he asked innocently.

“Fuck off perv. I can’t believe you. Who pulls that type of shit?” he shot back, scowl firmly in place.

“Well it sounded interesting from the hall and I wasn’t gonna pass that up was I? Didn’t know you sleep talked though…” he grinned wickedly. Zayn’s eyes widened, panic setting in again. “Don’t worry” Harry reassured, “the fireman’s out on his morning run” he chuckled.

Zayn hid his face in his hands. “Oh my god, go away” he grieved.

“Nuh-uh. Not until you tell me why you and Liam were having sex in a burning building.”

“Harry, if you don’t leave right now I may actually have to hurt you” Zayn threatened.

“Ok, ok… I’ll stop talking about your sex dream. You keep it to yourself… I’m pretty sure I got most of it anyway”, Harry threw his hands up in surrender at the sight of Zayn’s black glare “stopping” he assured.

“Thank fuck” Zayn huffed, running his fingers despairingly through his sweat mussed hair.

Harry surveyed him quietly, a thoughtful expression on his face. Zayn was just waiting for his weekly dose of love advice. “What Harry?” he huffed, may as well get it over with.

“I just don’t understand why you don’t tell him” he admitted carefully.

“You know why” Zayn retorted.

“I know that you think he doesn’t feel the same, but I don’t understand why you think that’s the case. He’s clearly just as smitten as you are… It’s obvious.”

“You’re wrong Harry… If he did feel that way then why hasn’t he done anything about it? He _can’t_ not know my feelings” Zayn argued.

Harry chuckled “You know, normally I’d agree with you but I think he’s just clinically oblivious. It’s like a sickness or something.”

“Harry, nobody’s _that_ oblivious. You _did_ see my collection did you not?”

“I agree that it’s ridiculous” Harry reasoned, “but you managed… somehow… to convince him it didn’t mean what it _obviously_ meant.”

“No- Harry, that’s impossible” he muttered “Can you just drop it… for once?”

“Fine” Harry relented and he finally stumbled off Zayn’s bed. “And Zayn?” he asked, hovering in the doorway.

“Yes Harry?”

“Go shower” he ordered, grin stretching back over his face.

-

There was nothing quite like the slap of his feet on the pavement, that addictive ache for breath that seared in his chest or the fresh morning breeze tingling at his skin. He’d always thought this was the best way to truly wake up.

Liam grinned as Pharrell crooned at him through his headphones “ _Like a gust of wind you hit me off sometimes, like a gust of wind you push me back every once in a while…_ ” he attempted to hum along but soon gave in, pausing to catch his breath.

It was quite a brilliant morning for once; the sun was catching on all the buildings and the warm wind sending leaves fluttering softly instead of the way they usually jerked around in some kind of violent dance.

He breathed it all in now, contentment surging through his body. It wasn’t one thing in particular that had him feeling like this… well, that wasn’t quite right… one thing in particular did stand out in his mind; that was certain. But, there were other things too. He hadn’t felt this free since he was a kid and as awful as it sounded, he was happy to be rid of the weight his father’s presence had on his mind. He was now free to be himself at all times. Also, he had the pleasure of adding Harry’s name to his list of closest friends. Harry really was a wonder.

Then of course, there was Zayn…

Zayn.

Liam quashed all the feelings that one syllable brought up back down with a quick shake of his head. He gulped in a cool lungful of air and picked his pace back up.

 

High on spirits, Liam ran up the four flights of stairs to get to their apartment. Today was going to be a good day. The kitchen and living area where empty when he walked inside and he went straight to the sink to get a glass of water, with the words of Pharrell Wiliams on his lips.

“ _When I open the window I wanna hug you, because you remind me of the air. I said Yeah. ‘Cause when I’m feeling real low I remember I love you. I put my hands in the air and you were there”_ he sung as he watched the water slowly fill his glass.

“Oh, hey Liam” he heard a familiar voice say and he turned to see Zayn shrouded in steam, and a towel, as he appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. Liam attempted to remain calm as he took in the sight of Zayn walking towards him half naked. His hair was damp and messy and his towel was dangerously low on his hips, Liam’s favourite tattoos all on show. He was grinning beatifically and if Liam wasn’t accustomed to the fact that Zayn looked like a model ninety nine percent of the time he probably would’ve lost his breath all over again. Even so, his heart stuttered a wee bit.

“Hey” Liam replies, trying his best to look unaffected. “You’re up early.”

“’spose I am a bit” he said, shrugging. “How was your run?” he asked, walking closer still.

“Great. It’s an amazing morning…” Liam trailed off, gaze caught on the words ‘don’t think I won’t’ which were written across Zayn’s hip. He glanced up to see a quirked eyebrow and realised that he hadn’t been staring very subtly. “That’s quite rude you know” Liam casually commented, nodding towards the script.

Zayn looked down at himself then back up at Liam. “I should probably put some clothes on then. I wouldn’t want to offend your delicate senses” he smirked.

“Probably best” Liam replied, and he was both relieved and disappointed when Zayn headed toward his bedroom.

“Liam?” he hummed, looking over his shoulder to smile softly.

“Hmm?”

“Your glass is full ” he says, pointing vaguely toward the sink and Liam spun around to see his glass overflowing, a large puddle forming on the bench. He quickly turned off the tap, lingering to hide his blush.

“Woops” he laughed, turning back and taking a large gulp of water. Zayn laughed with him… or at him, Liam’s not quite sure which… as he walked off down the hall. Harry passed Zayn as he disappeared, careful to whistle lewdly and then send a suggestive wink in Liam’s direction.

“Hey Harry. How are we this morning?” Liam greeted with a grin.

“Me? Fabulous. Never had a better morning if we’re being honest” Harry admitted serenely.

“Oh… Congratulations..?” Liam replied, waiting to be filled in.

“Thanks” Harry returned, saying nothing else about it but tapping the side of his nose secretively.

“Ok then…” Liam said, confused. Harry only grinned up at him, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Well, I’m gonna just,” he jerked his head towards the bathroom, “take a shower..?” his confusion makes it sound like a question.

“Cool, have fun” Harry said, still smiling brilliantly. Liam narrowed his eyes and then passed off Harry’s behaviour as him just being his usual strange self.

 

 

“Hey” Zayn murmured, leaning casually against Liam’s doorframe like it was made for him. He was dressed now, Liam was still unsure as to whether he should curse or praise the gods for that fact. It didn’t much matter though, Zayn looked just as sexy in his trade-mark ripped jeans and a plain black tee that showed off his collarbones.

“Hey” he replied, moving around his art studio turned bedroom to find his deodorant. Liam had managed to fit most of his things in the closet and Harry had lent him his ‘hat drawers’ to use for everything else. His bed was still a mattress that sat straight on the floor but he liked his room overall and Zayn drew him things every couple of weeks to put on the wall to make it more homely. Liam owed Zayn and Harry a lot actually but they always shrugged him off when he asked to pay rent.

“I was thinking about going to the tattoo parlour today” Zayn mused, still a picture of relaxation and sexiness, “you wanna come?”

Liam perked up with interest “Yeah?”

“Yeah” Zayn replied with a smile.

“Sure” Liam beams as he moves toward the living room “I’ll come.” Zayn just smiled and followed him into the living room. “You know Zayn” Liam smirked, “you can just come straight out and tell me you need someone to hold your hand. I won’t judge.”

“Ok. Leeeyuuum, babyyyyy can you please hold my hand?” Zayn pouted, eyes shining with mirth.

“Afraid of the scary men and their big bad needles?” Liam asked sympathetically. Zayn let out a sharp bark of laughter before recovering his act and putting a solemn expression back on his face. He nodded, eyes round.

“You guys are too cute” Harry said from behind his laptop spread out across the couch. Zayn stuck out his tongue. “But did I hear you kids are going somewhere?” Harry asked.

“Tattoo parlour” Zayn answered.

“Oh, cool. You guys should go now; I have a visitor coming over in a bit and you guys probably don’t want to get in the way.”

Zayn looked scorned, “a _visitor?_ This person have a name or is it a secret?”

“Uhh, yeah. It’s… Nick. Thought you’d probably want to avoid him or sommat” Harry replied.

“Oh right. When’s he coming?” Zayn asked.

“About…” Harry looked at his watch “ten minutes.”

“You fine to go now?” Zayn asked Liam.

“Sure” he nodded.

“Before you go Liam…” Harry began.

“Hmm?”

“I need your opinion on this song.”

“Ok, go ahead” he said, frowning up at Zayn who just shrugged back at him.

Harry hit his play button and an unfamiliar song started up. Harry nodded along with the beat, grinning… proudly?

“Is this Gaga?” Liam asked and Zayn stiffened beside him.

“ _Last night… I was thinking about you… and it was kinda dirty… and the way that you looked at me… it was kinda nasty oh… it was kinda trashy. ‘Cause I can’t help my mind from going there.”_

“Yeah. It’s called ‘Sexxx Dreams’ and it’s spelt with three ‘x’s because the dreams are three times as sexy. Isn’t it great?” Harry answered cheerfully.

“Uh, sure… Kinda catchy I suppose..?” Liam replied carefully.

“ _When I lay in bed, I touch myself and think of you… Last night, damn you were in my sex dreams… (You were in my…) Doing really nasty things… (You were in my dreams) Damn you were in my sex dreams (You were in my…) Making love in my sex dreams…”_

“Zayn? Do you like it?” Harry asked. Liam looked over to see Zayn giving Harry a cold, hard death stare.

“Not… my favourite” Zayn replied flatly.

“Oh” Harry frowned, “well that _is_ a surprise.”

“Liam and I are leaving” Zayn nearly shouts and Liam barely has time to slip on his shoes before he’s tugged outside.

 

“That was weird” Liam chuckled.

“Who knows what that boy is thinking half the time” Zayn shrugged, but Liam frowned at the annoyed pucker that was still between Zayn’s eyebrows. Zayn led him to the elevator before he let go of his upper arm. Liam thought there might be a bruise there later on.

“So what are you getting done?” Liam asked and Zayn huffed out an annoyed breath.

“Dammit, I left my design behind” Zayn grumbled.

“You designed it yourself?” Liam asked, impressed and he saw a smile creep back onto Zayn’s face.

“I might’ve done.”

“Oh, come onnnn” and now it was Liam dragging Zayn back the other way. “You have to show me” Liam said excitedly. Zayn laughed but followed Liam’s lead without protest.

 

They went straight past Harry who had plugged his earphones in, which was good because it meant Zayn was still in a good mood when they reached his room. Liam loved Zayn’s room; it showed who Zayn was under the leather jacket and the cloud of smoke. He had a stack of well-read comic books sitting between a copy of Shakespeare’s ‘Othello’ and ‘The Great Gatsby’, a dozen brilliant sketches pinned to the wall and even a couple paintings Zayn had decided were worthy of being on his wall. He even had a poster of The Avengers which he must have only bought a year or so ago.

Liam fell backwards onto Zayn’s bed and smiled as he sunk into a haze of Zayn’s personal fragrance of cigarettes, oranges, paint and something inexplicably _Zayn_. Zayn knelt beside him and Liam sent him a crinkly-eyed smile.

“So, here it is…” Zayn mumbled, passing Liam a well-worked over sheet of paper. Liam quickly sat up facing Zayn and carefully observed the detailed geometric design.

“It's pretty... kinda _calming”_ he said, tracing its intricacies with his fingers. Zayn smiled warmly up at him and nodded.

“It's a mandala: they symbolise order and are meant to be meditatitve” he explains. “You know... cleanse your mind, relax your soul and all that. The uh- particular meaning is specific to each design. So a person can set their own intentions.. and they can be guided through a particular area of their life.”

Zayn's eyes had been focused on the design as he spoke, but now they flicked up to meet Liam's and he gave a vulnerable sort of smile. “What's the meaning of yours?' Liam asked seriously.

“Well I think I just-” Zayn started and then stopped, quirking an eyebrow at the call of Harry’s name from the front door.

“Was that..?” Zayn asked, confusion pushing his eyebrows together.

“ _Louis?_ ” Liam finished, equally confused.

“Louis!!” Harry confirmed and they heard a shuffle and a burst of laughter.

“Is he here for what I think he is here for?” Zayn asked quietly. It took Liam a several long seconds of staring at Zayn’s face to comprehend what Zayn was suggesting.

“No…” Liam replied as he shuffled off Zayn’s bed. “Oh no no no no no” he continued as he made his way to Zayn’s door and peered into the living room. “Oh no” he turned back to Zayn “They’re already taking their clothes off”.

Zayn sniggered at the distraught look on Liam’s face and joined him at the crack of the door. Liam braced himself against the doorframe as Zayn nestled in beside him. Zayn followed Liam’s lead and peered out the door himself.

“I am gonna get Harry back _so_ hard for this!!” Zayn whispered into Liam’s ear.

“Harry had his earphones in when we came back in…” Liam stated, “he doesn’t know we’re here”.

Zayn turned his gaze to Liam and smirked, “do you think they’re going to go all the way?”

Liam gulped and looked back into the living room. Both he and Zayn had a clear view of the couch which both boys were currently occupying. Louis was down to his underwear already, bum in the air as he littered Harry’s bare chest with love-bites. Harry was stretched out on the couch and he was incredibly pleased with the situation if the groaning and the smug look on his face was anything to go by. Liam glanced back at Zayn as Louis’ hands started working on Harry’s belt. Zayn was still looking at him and he flushed at the studying expression on his face.

“I think that’s a very real possibility…” Liam replied.

“What do you wanna do?” Zayn asked, his face a mask.

“What do _I_ want to do? What is there _to_ do?” Liam questioned, voice creeping into a squeal. “What do _you_ want to do?” he asked.

"Well, we could be mature and announce ourselves while everything's still sort of G rated-"

"G-rated?" Liam interrupted looking distraught after having taken another glance into the living room, "my best friend has a _dick_ in his mouth"

"Or-" Zayn continued, biting back a laugh, "we could close this door, retreat into the furtherest corner of this room, play some music through my headphones and try to forget what's going on on the couch that we all share"

Liam was moving in an instant and Zayn quietly closed the door before following him.

 

"Headphones?" Liam questioned.

"Oh yeah." Zayn spun around searching the usual spots for his headphones. "Ummm.."

"Zayn..?"

"I think Harry was using them.."

"Oh"

"Yep"

"Is there still time for plan A?" Liam asked quietly.

Zayn opened his mouth to reply but Louis beat him to it with a load "fuck" which echoed through the small apartment.

"I think we missed our window" Zayn answered unnecessarily and he sat next to Liam, squeezing into the space between his bed and the far wall.

“At least I don't have to suffer this alone” Liam stated and he finally let out a small giggle.

“True” Zayn replied, “there's that at least”.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! :)  
> I would really appreciate your feedback if you wanted to give some (even if it's criticism - I need to know that too). 
> 
> I'm on Tumblr:  
> mrpayneisbatman.tumblr.com


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